I know we are, by definition, dealing with idiots but I just can't find the benefit in stripping down to your skivvies before taking off for such a no-doubt-about-it losing situation. Especially when the surface is artificial turf.

The odds of successfully evading security when running onto the field of a major sporting event are miniscule. If I'm rushing the field, I want to limit my vulnerability as much as possible and, you know, avoid rug burn in awful places. Plus, we've all had those terrible dreams; nudity is, like, vulnerability defined. Yet there he is, mostly naked at the bottom of a pile of security personnel at second base.

[@newspaper_man]