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Max Scherzer, like all pitchers, goalies, kickers, and other solitary sportsmen, is a lunatic. Sometimes he’s growling at his coaches. Sometimes it’s at no one in particular. Scherzer was on one last night, striking out 14 over seven innings as the Nationals beat the Dodgers 2-1. And if you are both sensitive to bad language and able to read lips, you may want to look away now.

We debated this one for a while trying to parse out Scherzer’s exact string of words, though some of them are pretty obvious. I think we’ve settled on “fucking bastard motherfucking bitch motherfucker” and now I can’t see it any other way.

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Scherzer was snarling before deliveries.

I am scared of Max Scherzer.