Russell Westbrook Literally Got A Dent In His Face

Russell Westbrook whirling dervished his way to a third straight triple-double last night, the kind of performance we've come to expect in his incredible February. But late in the game, as he tried singlehandedly to stave off a loss to the Trail Blazers, we saw something new: he got a goddamn dent in his head. » 2/28/15 10:53am Saturday 10:53am

Oh My God Oh My God I Think Russell Westbrook Could Beat Up My Dad

Last night, while we were all arguing about a black-and-blue dress, Russell Westbrook and a gaggle of tall men who were not Kevin Durant were a half-hour down the road from where the llamas were dodging the cops, playing the Phoenix Suns. If you missed it, or forgot, the Oklahoma City Thunder lost a heartbreaker in… » 2/27/15 2:55pm Friday 2:55pm

That Time Someone Said Peyton Hillis Wanted To Retire And Join The CIA

Today, the New York Giants released Madden 12 cover athlete—good job, fans—and running back Peyton Hillis. Did you even know Hillis was still in the league? A better question: Do you remember when a rumor came out in March 2012 that Hillis, at that time a free agent, was considering retirement so he could join the CIA? » 2/25/15 12:00pm 2/25/15 12:00pm

Kevin Garnett's Already Yelled At One Of His New Teammates

Kevin Garnett's return to the Minnesota Timberwolves sounds like a premise for an average sports movie: Old star returns to his first team, gets a middling team into shape, and everyone gets a nice ending. The Timberwolves definitely won't make the playoffs this season, but maybe their small victory turns out to be a… » 2/24/15 3:17pm 2/24/15 3:17pm

Even The Big European Powers Can't Stop The Winter World Cup In Qatar

As the tides of progress surge on, even Europe realizes its powerlessness in the face of Qatar's insistence on making the 2022 World Cup the first to be held in the winter, thus wrecking the domestic leagues' seasons. Our last hope for sanity to prevail—a defiant UEFA protecting its own highly-profitable… » 2/24/15 10:51am 2/24/15 10:51am

The Guy Who Plays The Sixers' New Mascot Hates Philly And The Sixers

The garbage-ass Philadelphia 76ers unveiled a new mascot earlier this month, perhaps hoping that a big fake dog named Franklin would distract fans from the historically bad product that the organization is putting on the floor every night. Unfortunately for the team, some internet sleuthing has revealed that the guy… » 2/23/15 9:58am 2/23/15 9:58am

Gregg Zaun Shares Heartwarming Stories Of Cal Ripken Jr. Hazing Him

Notable doofus and former MLB catcher Gregg Zaun played his first two pro seasons with the Baltimore Orioles. Why mention that stint? While talking about ex-Blue Jays third baseman Brett Lawrie (who was traded to Oakland last November) on a radio show this week, Zaun reminisced about his 1995 rookie season, and how… » 2/22/15 9:28pm 2/22/15 9:28pm