Get a load of these dipsticks.
Choo choo, follow the leader.
Lake Tahoe is a very popular destination for humans looking to catch some summer rays and splash about without care. It will remain such a destination, so long as future visitors are willing to share the beach with these bears:
Some clowns might look at this big bear, much in need of a refreshing dip, and conclude that he is too big to be going around jamming himself into kiddie pools.
Every bear knows that the greatest threat its dignity is a container of food big enough to fit over a hungry bear’s head. And so any bear that wants to avoid being labeled as a big idiot dumbass has to follow just one simple rule: don’t stick your big bear head in large food containers.
Any dipshit bear can barge into an alleyway, knock a trash can over, rip open a bag, and pick a few scraps out of the resulting mess. Any asshole can splash paint on a canvas and call it high art, too.
As we all know, summer doesn’t officially start until a bear gets in the pool. Thanks to this pool noodle enthusiast in California, we can finally ditch our sneakers for flip flops, unbutton that top shirt button, and find a patio to drink on.
Sorry, man, you’re gonna have to wait to take a bath, because this extremely good bear is getting his soak on. How long is he gonna be? Quite frankly, that’s none of your fucking business.
Above is a local news story about some rude bears barging into people’s homes to look for post-hibernation snacks. There are good bears in the clip, but none better than this one right here:
I’m about to show you a video that is only seven seconds long, and yet you will see so much. You will see a beautiful forest landscape, a bear, and the inside of a man’s soul.
We all got shit going on, you know? Too much shit, if you ask me. I was on vacation last week, and I’ve spent most of this week sighing and thinking, “Whaaaaat is it with all this shit I got going on???”
Sorry, I can’t hang out this weekend. I’m going to Yellowstone to get some R&R at this very cool spa for bears.
Here’s a bear you know!
Guys, relax. It’s just a balloo—
Yesterday, I almost got Mad Online, and that’s just about the worst thing a person can be. Thankfully, someone sent me this very zen 360-degree video of bears hunting fish, and it helped me remain Mad Offline.
Here we have some Russian clowns, seemingly in the midst of a deforestation campaign, happening upon a brown bear. They give the bear a snack, which they surely believe makes them pals. Guess again, clowns:
Pals, we’ve got two great baby polar bears here.
Look at this shit.