The bear wants to eat the girl.
Make way for the little panda! He’s got rolls to do!
This video, charmingly narrated by a man who wisely decided to mount a camera outside of a bear den near his house, shows us exactly what is on a bear’s to-do list in the days after hibernation ends.
Some clown in China thought it would be a good idea for him to stroll into a panda habitat and disturb the sleeping bear within it. Unfortunately for this jagoff, his host had only pain to offer as a greeting.
Welcome back to Giz Asks, a series where we ask experts hard questions about science, technology, and humanity’s future. Today, we’re talking to conservationists, naturalists, and authors about whether the bear is ever your buddy.
The first few minutes of this video might have you thinking that this big fella is no match for a simple cardboard box. There is a lot of confused pawing, and it’s hard not to think that maybe the bear would be better off spending his time on something else.
Did you lose your hat? Too bad; it belongs to the bear now. It’s his.
What is good art? A silly question asked by silly people throughout history. I scoff at them!
Betsy DeVos, a galactically rich and galactically evil anti-public school, anti-gay rights donor appointed by Donald Trump to be our country’s next Education Secretary, is going through confirmation hearings tonight (sports angle: her shitty father owns the Orlando Magic). She was asked about guns in schools. She said…
The last bear I shared with you was a rambunctious panda goofin’ around with a snowman. Today I am here to show you a delightful polar bear rolling around in some big fluffy piles of snow.
A car dealership in Minnesota wanted to highlight a few of their new models at a local ice rink. Too bad their polar bear mascot couldn’t keep his footing. While the commercial might not have sold any new Mitsubishis, the outtakes are hilarious.
Deadspin is pleased to announce our 2016 Bear of the Year. After a great deal of consideration and deliberation, we arrived at a clear choice: Bear Who Was Covered In Shit And Pissed.
“Wahhhhhhh,” screams the coddled and pathetic human race. “It’s finally starting to get cold and soon there will be snoooowwwww. When will summer return??”
What this video purports to show is a group of Turkish men rescuing a bear. What are they rescuing the poor beast from, you ask? A life of shit and piss.
It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and this is you:
There really aren’t any words I can put here that will enhance your enjoyment of the video above, because it’s just that fucking good. So let’s hit the GIFs:
It’s almost winter, and that means it’s almost time for our ursine friends to begin hibernating. But before packing it in for a few months, each bear needs to achieve a status of total comfort and total fatness.
Whether out of genuine concern or a misplaced sense of propriety, you might feel compelled to intervene if you find two (or more!) bears mating in the woods. Today, however, I’d like to suggest an alternate course of action: Let them fuck in peace.
There’s nothing quite like a frosty ice bath when you’re a fluffy polar bear. For maximum enjoyment, I suggest really digging in there and jostling those cubes about.