Belly-up pro athletes are among the world's saddest washouts, in part because you can't blame them for their own gruesome collapses. It’s a surreal deal: You’re invincible as a kid, invincible as a young man, a millionaire before you know how to file your own taxes and then an undereducated, slow-moving target for…

Remember the fuss from a couple of weeks back, when Vikings receiver Bernard Berrian lawyered up to protect his image after KSK did one of its satirical posts about him? Yeah, well, can't wait to see how ol' poopyhands and his handlers try to bully their way out of this one. [@B_Twice; h/t to David]

So this is something. Our friends over at KSK have irked an NFL player with one of their patented satirical posts, but unlike most of their targets, this NFL player decided to fight back with hissing lawyers and dildo-burping PR ladies in a misguided effort to protect his imaginary "brand."

Vikings wide receiver Bernard Berrian apparently left his BlackBerry atop a Vegas ATM in October. He got it back but not before the couple who found it allegedly asked for $30K lest they sell it to the highest bidder.

It appears that Bernard Berrian might have some 'splainin' to do after a photo of a naked woman showering turned up via "TweetPhoto" on his Twitter account.

Confusion in Minnesota after Bernard Berrian tweets that Tarvaris Jackson is out for the year. He was just joking, though, to prove some kind of point. There would have been panic, had it not been about Tarvaris Jackson. [PFT]