The Mayor Of St. Louis Is A Complete Dipshit

It's October, which means it's time for St. Louis Cardinals fans like Will Leitch to go skipping out of the five-and-dime wearing their propeller beanies and poisoning America with their phony brand of trumped-up goody-goodyism. » 10/03/14 11:42am 10/03/14 11:42am

Old Cardinals Fan: Porn-y Fast Food Ad Made Stan Musial Cry In Heaven

A gentleman by the name of Steve Rupp has penned a letter to the editors of the St. Louis Post Dispatch, and it is a wonderful letter that you should go read. It is a letter that could have only been written by a very old man who is also a Cardinals fan. » 9/05/14 2:19pm 9/05/14 2:19pm

Alleged Murderer Has Cardinals And White Sox Logos Among His Face Tats

This Chicago man has been arrested and charged with murder after allegedly shooting and killing a man over the 4th of July weekend. Aside from being the kind of guy who allegedly shoots people and gets "Fuck The World" tattooed on his forehead, he also appears to be a fan of both the St. Louis Cardinals and Chicago… » 7/09/14 12:26pm 7/09/14 12:26pm

Can Anyone Stop The Beliebers? Vote On The Bitchy Bracket Final 8

We're down to the regional finals of our survey of the most thin-skinned, defensive fanboys in America, and apparently you people aren't familiar enough with the lunatics at TEAM BREEZY because Chris Brown's virtual harem got spanked in the Sweet 16 by Beliebers, who make such obvious targets. Here now are your… » 4/01/14 12:28pm 4/01/14 12:28pm

A Proper Dress Code For Getting Shitfaced At The Ballpark

Today our Tom Ley goofed on the silly new dress code restrictions for the St. Louis Cardinals Ballpark Village (i.e., a place where bros from Dardenne Prairie will get shitfaced after another triumphant Cardinals win against a morally inferior opponent). Ley pointed out that there was no shortage of racial coding to… » 3/26/14 4:36pm 3/26/14 4:36pm

St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Bill McClellan, noting that the Cardinals Way seems mainly to have to do with big free agent contracts, drug abuse, and pornography addiction, has a message for the Best Fans in Baseball: "Please, stop." » 3/05/14 9:07am 3/05/14 9:07am

The Los Angeles Dodgers Are Just A Group Of Hard-Nosed Overachievers

Without characters and storylines, baseball is just a bunch of idiots running around wielding sticks, so of course baseball writers were going to contrive a narrative for a seven-game series between the Los Angeles Dodgers and the St. Louis Cardinals that doesn't really feature a natural one. You could have written it… » 10/11/13 4:35pm 10/11/13 4:35pm

The Bitter Tears Of The Best Fans In Baseball

In the wake of Matt Holliday's fateful decision to play James Loney's soft liner off his testicles, Cardinals Nation expressed several sentiments unbecoming the best fans in baseball but at least cleared all five stages of grief. » 10/09/09 2:15pm 10/09/09 2:15pm