Brazilian Legends Pelé And Coutinho Are Terrible At (Video Game) Soccer

What do you get when you give maybe the greatest soccer player of all time and his old strike partner a couple controllers, a soccer video game, and point a camera at them? Pretty much the same level of cluelessness if I gave the same tools to my grandpa. But hey, at least they have fun with how much they suck! » 12/10/14 2:56pm 12/10/14 2:56pm

How To Dumbfound Two Defenders With One Dribble, By Brazil's Willian

You see this little move right here, where Willian drags the ball one way with the outside of his boot, before that lightning-quick flick of the foot in the other direction, nudging the ball in the opposite direction of where he was moving while completely freezing the two Turkish defenders? Yeah, this is an elastico. » 11/12/14 5:03pm 11/12/14 5:03pm

Kyrie Irving And Kevin Love Had A Real Good Time At The Club In Brazil

The Cleveland Cavaliers are chilling in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil right now before they play an exhibition game Saturday against the Miami Heat. Last night, according to our tipster, Kyrie Irving, Kevin Love, and others—whom we can't identify since they're not famous NBA players, and wouldn't want to for the same… » 10/10/14 5:33pm 10/10/14 5:33pm

The Cavaliers And Heat Can't Make That Three-Point Goggle Sign In Brazil

You know that cool thing LeBron sometimes does after he hits a three-pointer when he connects his thumb and index finger so it's like a little circle, then holds it over his eye with the other three fingers up so it resembles a monocle to show, Hey, I made that three? When he and the Cavaliers play the Miami Heat in a… » 10/09/14 1:25pm 10/09/14 1:25pm

Irish Comedy Show Pokes Fun At Brazil-Netherlands Match With "Highlight"

Après Match is a comedy show on Irish station RTÉ that mocks various soccer commentators from Ireland and Great Britain. (Here's more of their stuff; it's amusing!) Yesterday, the crew found their "Great Dutch Play" from the third-place World Cup match between Brazil and the Netherlands, and the highlight got… » 7/13/14 2:04pm 7/13/14 2:04pm

Match Mercifully Ends; Netherlands Beat Brazil 3-0

We know, lady. We know. This...this was not a good match. The Netherlands took out what little air was in this match almost immediately and then tacked on a meaningless third goal in added time, which we're not even bothering to GIF because, fuck it, this was a game for third place. Good news, Netherlands! You came in… » 7/12/14 6:19pm 7/12/14 6:19pm

Netherlands Take Early 2-0 Lead Over Brazil

For a team whose coach wanted absolutely nothing to do with this glorified exhibition match, the Dutch have come out firing. A streaking Robben earned an early penalty in the second minute when Thiago Silva yanked his shoulder as he galloped toward the goal. Robin van Persie confidently hit the top corner to give the… » 7/12/14 4:49pm 7/12/14 4:49pm

The World Cup's Third-Place Game Is A Goddamned Disgrace To Soccer

When Spain were dealt an embarrassing group stage exit a jet was chartered to fly their players back to Madrid as soon as a flight path could be cleared. Just a matter of hours after their final game against Australia, the Spanish squad was at São Paulo International Airport, perusing the Duty Free and the Hudson News… » 7/12/14 12:48pm 7/12/14 12:48pm

How Vacant World Cup Stadiums Could Be Turned Into Housing

The World Cup ends this weekend, leaving Brazil with the heady task of deciding what, exactly, to do with the 12 stadiums that were built or converted for games. Two architects have published a proposal to convert the stadiums into something Brazil desperately needs: Affordable housing. » 7/11/14 4:15pm 7/11/14 4:15pm