Irish Comedy Show Pokes Fun At Brazil-Netherlands Match With "Highlight"

Après Match is a comedy show on Irish station RTÉ that mocks various soccer commentators from Ireland and Great Britain. (Here's more of their stuff; it's amusing!) Yesterday, the crew found their "Great Dutch Play" from the third-place World Cup match between Brazil and the Netherlands, and the highlight got… » 7/13/14 2:04pm 7/13/14 2:04pm

Match Mercifully Ends; Netherlands Beat Brazil 3-0

We know, lady. We know. This...this was not a good match. The Netherlands took out what little air was in this match almost immediately and then tacked on a meaningless third goal in added time, which we're not even bothering to GIF because, fuck it, this was a game for third place. Good news, Netherlands! You came in… » 7/12/14 6:19pm 7/12/14 6:19pm

Netherlands Take Early 2-0 Lead Over Brazil

For a team whose coach wanted absolutely nothing to do with this glorified exhibition match, the Dutch have come out firing. A streaking Robben earned an early penalty in the second minute when Thiago Silva yanked his shoulder as he galloped toward the goal. Robin van Persie confidently hit the top corner to give the… » 7/12/14 4:49pm 7/12/14 4:49pm

The World Cup's Third-Place Game Is A Goddamned Disgrace To Soccer

When Spain were dealt an embarrassing group stage exit a jet was chartered to fly their players back to Madrid as soon as a flight path could be cleared. Just a matter of hours after their final game against Australia, the Spanish squad was at São Paulo International Airport, perusing the Duty Free and the Hudson News… » 7/12/14 12:48pm 7/12/14 12:48pm

How Vacant World Cup Stadiums Could Be Turned Into Housing

The World Cup ends this weekend, leaving Brazil with the heady task of deciding what, exactly, to do with the 12 stadiums that were built or converted for games. Two architects have published a proposal to convert the stadiums into something Brazil desperately needs: Affordable housing. » 7/11/14 4:15pm 7/11/14 4:15pm

What Brazil's Loss Meant, And What It Didn't Mean

When you visit the Museu do Futebol in São Paulo, you are at one point obliged to enter a long, narrow, pitch-black room, in which the increasingly loud pounding of a heartbeat plays heavily over concealed speakers as images of the Maracanazo—Brazil's infamous loss in the final of the 1950 World Cup in Rio de… » 7/09/14 6:01pm 7/09/14 6:01pm

Nothing Is Sadder Than Lego Júlio César Getting Bombarded With Goals

The French publication L'Équipe created a Lego depiction of Germany's thrashing of Brazil and it's a pretty cool little thing that really hammers home the onslaught poor Júlio César was under. An added bonus is that, it turns out, a totally helpless stop-motion Lego man is very sad and very funny. » 7/09/14 2:02pm 7/09/14 2:02pm

Today's Brazilian Newspaper Covers Are Pure Sadness

If there's one thing to be thankful for in the wake of Brazil's World Cup meltdown, it's that the host country's stunning 7-1 defeat gave Brazilian newspaper editors a chance to cut loose and really go all-in with the despair. With that in mind, let's survey (via Newseum) today's best, saddest Brazilian newspaper… » 7/09/14 10:30am 7/09/14 10:30am

Visualized: Every Shot From Germany's Dominant First Half Over Brazil

This, from The New York Times's live coverage of Germany's 7-1 drubbing of Brazil yesterday, is just the saddest. It only tracks the first half, but that's where all the damage was done. The Germans scored five goals on 10 shots, nine of which were on target, while Brazil bookended the half with two lonely shots. » 7/09/14 9:49am 7/09/14 9:49am

Luiz Felipe Scolari Falls On His Sword

There's something about a mollywhomping that turns losers philosophical. As if there's no place to hide, no excuses that can possibly be made, and the only way to salvage some dignity is to humble yourself before a world already inclined to be sympathetic. After Brazil's 7-1 defeat at the hands of Germany, Seleção » 7/09/14 9:16am 7/09/14 9:16am