Brazilian Legends Pelé And Coutinho Are Terrible At (Video Game) Soccer

What do you get when you give maybe the greatest soccer player of all time and his old strike partner a couple controllers, a soccer video game, and point a camera at them? Pretty much the same level of cluelessness if I gave the same tools to my grandpa. But hey, at least they have fun with how much they suck! » 12/10/14 2:56pm 12/10/14 2:56pm

Soccer Referee Runs From Furious Players After Match Ends

Brazilian referee Marielson Alves Silva had to flee when some irate Figueirense players confronted him after the end of their 2-1 loss to Internacional. » 12/07/14 2:25pm 12/07/14 2:25pm

How To Dumbfound Two Defenders With One Dribble, By Brazil's Willian

You see this little move right here, where Willian drags the ball one way with the outside of his boot, before that lightning-quick flick of the foot in the other direction, nudging the ball in the opposite direction of where he was moving while completely freezing the two Turkish defenders? Yeah, this is an elastico. » 11/12/14 5:03pm 11/12/14 5:03pm

The Beast Of Brazil: A Savage Trip To The Dark Heart Of The World Cup

Player Bitten By "Lucky" Dog On The Field Wants To Name It "Suárez"

They really need better security in these South American soccer stadiums. Dogs just keep finding their way out on the field. » 10/28/14 12:25pm 10/28/14 12:25pm

Is This Brazil's Manager Calling An Argentina Coach A Cokehead?

Because that's exactly what it looks like. What else could new Brazil manager Dunga's accusatory staring, finger pointing, and aggressive nostril rubbing aimed at a member of Argentina's coaching staff realistically mean? Here's a gif: » 10/13/14 6:30pm 10/13/14 6:30pm

Kyrie Irving And Kevin Love Had A Real Good Time At The Club In Brazil

The Cleveland Cavaliers are chilling in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil right now before they play an exhibition game Saturday against the Miami Heat. Last night, according to our tipster, Kyrie Irving, Kevin Love, and others—whom we can't identify since they're not famous NBA players, and wouldn't want to for the same… » 10/10/14 5:33pm 10/10/14 5:33pm

The Cavaliers And Heat Can't Make That Three-Point Goggle Sign In Brazil

You know that cool thing LeBron sometimes does after he hits a three-pointer when he connects his thumb and index finger so it's like a little circle, then holds it over his eye with the other three fingers up so it resembles a monocle to show, Hey, I made that three? When he and the Cavaliers play the Miami Heat in a… » 10/09/14 1:25pm 10/09/14 1:25pm

Struggling Brazilian Soccer Team Hires Weirdo Hypnotist

Walking barefoot on glass. Walking barefoot through hot coals. Bending iron poles with your neck. These are the things Olimar Tesser, Portuguesa's newly-hired team hypnotist, believes are the keys to dragging the Brazilian club out of the relegation zone. » 10/07/14 4:09pm 10/07/14 4:09pm

Please Calm Down, Anderson Varejao Did Not Cut His Hair

Oh shit! Did Cleveland Cavs big man Anderson Varejao get rid of his beautiful Sideshow Bob hair? It looked so good, dude. Why'd you shear it off? » 7/21/14 6:32pm 7/21/14 6:32pm

This Man Should Be Brazil's Next Manager

The Brazilian soccer association has confirmed reports that Brazil's manager, Luiz Felipe Scolari, has resigned. Huge surprise! Luckily, we've come up with the perfect, if unconventional, choice to be his successor. » 7/14/14 7:24pm 7/14/14 7:24pm

Irish Comedy Show Pokes Fun At Brazil-Netherlands Match With "Highlight"

Après Match is a comedy show on Irish station RTÉ that mocks various soccer commentators from Ireland and Great Britain. (Here's more of their stuff; it's amusing!) Yesterday, the crew found their "Great Dutch Play" from the third-place World Cup match between Brazil and the Netherlands, and the highlight got… » 7/13/14 2:04pm 7/13/14 2:04pm

Match Mercifully Ends; Netherlands Beat Brazil 3-0

We know, lady. We know. This...this was not a good match. The Netherlands took out what little air was in this match almost immediately and then tacked on a meaningless third goal in added time, which we're not even bothering to GIF because, fuck it, this was a game for third place. Good news, Netherlands! You came in… » 7/12/14 6:19pm 7/12/14 6:19pm

Netherlands Take Early 2-0 Lead Over Brazil

For a team whose coach wanted absolutely nothing to do with this glorified exhibition match, the Dutch have come out firing. A streaking Robben earned an early penalty in the second minute when Thiago Silva yanked his shoulder as he galloped toward the goal. Robin van Persie confidently hit the top corner to give the… » 7/12/14 4:49pm 7/12/14 4:49pm

The World Cup's Third-Place Game Is A Goddamned Disgrace To Soccer

When Spain were dealt an embarrassing group stage exit a jet was chartered to fly their players back to Madrid as soon as a flight path could be cleared. Just a matter of hours after their final game against Australia, the Spanish squad was at São Paulo International Airport, perusing the Duty Free and the Hudson News… » 7/12/14 12:48pm 7/12/14 12:48pm

Hundreds Of Ghana Fans Have Sought Asylum In Brazil

According to Brazilian federal authorities, about 200 fans who traveled from Ghana for the World Cup have requested political asylum in Brazil, and another 1,000 are expected to claim refugee status after the end of the tournament. » 7/11/14 4:22pm 7/11/14 4:22pm

How Vacant World Cup Stadiums Could Be Turned Into Housing

The World Cup ends this weekend, leaving Brazil with the heady task of deciding what, exactly, to do with the 12 stadiums that were built or converted for games. Two architects have published a proposal to convert the stadiums into something Brazil desperately needs: Affordable housing. » 7/11/14 4:15pm 7/11/14 4:15pm