Report: Marketing Firm Owns Rights To Select Brazil National Team Squad

It probably doesn’t surprise anyone to know that Brazil’s corrupt soccer federation engaged in corrupt behavior, but these newly released documents are pretty alarming. According to Brazilian paper Estadão, the federation sold all sorts of the Seleção’s economic rights to a marketing firm, including final say on who… » 5/19/15 3:00pm 5/19/15 3:00pm

This Is One Dopey Own Goal

With the Paulistão and other state soccer leagues spoken for it’s time to fire up a new Brazilian Serie A season, and it looks like Grêmio might be a bit rusty. Here’s defender Frickson Erazo managing to team up with Pedro Geromel to chip one over their own keeper’s head for a beautiful own goal that gave Coritiba a… » 5/16/15 7:22pm 5/16/15 7:22pm

Brazil's World Cup Stadiums Were A Colossal Waste Of Money

One of the major concerns of the Brazilian people in the run-up to last summer’s World Cup was the prudence of a financially-troubled nation spending hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars on stadiums. The stadiums were criticized for their opulence, their number, and their location. As it turns out, the critics… » 5/12/15 2:49pm 5/12/15 2:49pm

Brazilian Legends Pelé And Coutinho Are Terrible At (Video Game) Soccer

What do you get when you give maybe the greatest soccer player of all time and his old strike partner a couple controllers, a soccer video game, and point a camera at them? Pretty much the same level of cluelessness if I gave the same tools to my grandpa. But hey, at least they have fun with how much they suck! » 12/10/14 2:56pm 12/10/14 2:56pm

How To Dumbfound Two Defenders With One Dribble, By Brazil's Willian

You see this little move right here, where Willian drags the ball one way with the outside of his boot, before that lightning-quick flick of the foot in the other direction, nudging the ball in the opposite direction of where he was moving while completely freezing the two Turkish defenders? Yeah, this is an elastico. » 11/12/14 5:03pm 11/12/14 5:03pm

Kyrie Irving And Kevin Love Had A Real Good Time At The Club In Brazil

The Cleveland Cavaliers are chilling in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil right now before they play an exhibition game Saturday against the Miami Heat. Last night, according to our tipster, Kyrie Irving, Kevin Love, and others—whom we can't identify since they're not famous NBA players, and wouldn't want to for the same… » 10/10/14 5:33pm 10/10/14 5:33pm

The Cavaliers And Heat Can't Make That Three-Point Goggle Sign In Brazil

You know that cool thing LeBron sometimes does after he hits a three-pointer when he connects his thumb and index finger so it's like a little circle, then holds it over his eye with the other three fingers up so it resembles a monocle to show, Hey, I made that three? When he and the Cavaliers play the Miami Heat in a… » 10/09/14 1:25pm 10/09/14 1:25pm

Irish Comedy Show Pokes Fun At Brazil-Netherlands Match With "Highlight"

Après Match is a comedy show on Irish station RTÉ that mocks various soccer commentators from Ireland and Great Britain. (Here's more of their stuff; it's amusing!) Yesterday, the crew found their "Great Dutch Play" from the third-place World Cup match between Brazil and the Netherlands, and the highlight got… » 7/13/14 2:04pm 7/13/14 2:04pm

Match Mercifully Ends; Netherlands Beat Brazil 3-0

We know, lady. We know. This...this was not a good match. The Netherlands took out what little air was in this match almost immediately and then tacked on a meaningless third goal in added time, which we're not even bothering to GIF because, fuck it, this was a game for third place. Good news, Netherlands! You came in… » 7/12/14 6:19pm 7/12/14 6:19pm