christmas-ape - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Kick Me In The Jimmy!"
Jaguars defensive tackle John Henderson needs that extra little slap in the face to get ready for gametime. Funny, as Brett Myers does the same thing to his wife come bedtime. I'd like to think Joe there was hired solely for this purpose. As seen on Jaguars job board: "Wanted: fella with shaved hea...
I Trust I Can Rely On Your Vote
Tomorrow's a pretty big primary day for the Dems, what with Texas, Ohio and, to a much lesser extent Rhode Island and Vermont, going a long way to determining who the nominee will be. With Greg Oden and Leigh Steinberg recently publicly throwing their support behind Barack Obama, we're once again co...
The Editor-In-Chimp Is Here
Much of your human world continues to horrify and confuse me, most of all your bizarre construct of weekdays. The one you call Will has cast me into my Monday bondage by bludgeoning my mate to death with his advanced human weaponry. How ever did you concoct stick with a nail in it? Sadly, I am now i...
Other Than That, How Was The Race, Mrs. Lincoln?
New weekend editor Christmas Ape tried out to be one of the guys who run the Presidents Races at Washington Nationals games. Here's how it went....
What Would An All-Star Game Be Without Fug Unis?
Hey, loogit, there's an All-Star Game on. And it sounds as though it's slightly less boring than pointless spectacles past! I don't know, I'm at work and can't watch it. But the uniforms? Ugly!...
Happy Presidents Race
It's been a great opening stint of Weekend Daddy Duty for me, despite my many unplanned trips to Deadspin future. As a result of my poor choice of journalism as a career I'm now at the office and will be through the rest of the evening covering shootings and such in D.C. but luckily I'm off tomorro...
Romanian Strip Clubs Disturbingly Full of Male French Tennis Players
Notch a critical victory in the Davis Cup over Romania? A common American response to winning is to while away hours and hours and perhaps your signing bonus in the strip club. Just ask the G-men....
Brett Myers is Full of Trickery
When not occupied with domestic abuse or calling reporters retards, Phillies pitcher Brett Myers fancies himself quite the mischievous clubhouse presence. Here, he's gotten manager Charlie Manuel, some beat reporters and GM Ruben Amaro in on the act of fooling pitcher Kyle Kendrick into thinking he...
Grab Your Mop, Whitey
At what point is it okay to call in the all-white team? Just ask UNC. [Mister Irrelevant]...
"Rugby Ball in the Face" Had a Rugby Ball to the Face
I'm not well versed in the ways of the ruggers, but I know the sound at the beginning of this clip is a tad unsettling, and that this was possibly a mite bit painful....
What to Watch
What to watch while waiting for your high school chemistry teacher to join Marlo's crew......
Eli: Cover Boy?
For its top selling Madden NFL franchise, Electronic Arts Tiburon typically selects an electrifying player who epitomizes the furious intensity of NFL action, while appealing to average young football fan....