Prolific tweeting cornball Darren Rovell has a pretty cute story about Jeff Bagwell coming to his bar mitzvah on ESPN today.
This evening, at 10:21 p.m. EDT, Darren Rovell reached his terrifying final form.
Darren Rovell—a living, breathing blazer from Northwestern’s business school—is fond of tweeting out pictures. Sometimes, it’s a cake that’s shaped like a shoe, and usually it’s a piece of truly fucked up junk food from a stadium. Tonight, he posted a very well-composed picture of the Chicago White Sox’s stadium, and…
The Deadspin Awards are in July, and we need our readers to decide the winners of these prestigious honors. Today, we ask you to vote on an issue close to our hearts: Of all these bad tweets, which one was the absolute worst?
Post-human business doof Darren Rovell did some tweets tonight, like he does whenever a dollar farts. They were bad and bland in their undressed form, but Twitter user @trillballins spiced them up with dramatic vocals and now I love them. Consider this asinine joke our dude probably drafted a week ago.
ESPN business reporter Darren Rovell, a man with many unread issues of The Economist in his bathroom, has a habit of using his Twitter account to explain that all sorts of terrible things are just fine so long as capitalists can profit from them. Racism? Totally cool if the market says it is. What about the abhorrent…
Former Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones, who is currently preparing for the NFL draft, took some parting shots at the NCAA today. His criticisms have gotten much more pointed since “we ain’t come to play SCHOOL,” but the spirit is the same:
“I tweeted 171 times on Super Bowl Sunday, but at any given time on that day, I had about 250 tweets ready to go that I prepared in the months, weeks and days before the game.” That’s ESPN’s Darren Rovell, in a blog post on Medium about how he, uh, did a good job(?) on Twitter on Super Bowl Sunday—like what does it…
If you’ve ever wondered exactly what kind of “reporting” ESPN sports business reporter Darren Rovell does, the following tweets will be illuminating.
Darren Rovell, a commemorative gift plate from the American Enterprise Institute that somehow talks and writes and uses social media, went there just now on Twitter, and it’s a sight to behold—a service to the nation, in its way. While a market fundamentalist with a neuron or two firing would probably avoid…
This is the bleakest thing. Hey, every like counts.
After the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight on May 2, Darren Rovell attempted to explain to ESPN viewers the diverse range of mega-rich people in attendance. One of those people, we were told, was “loan shark” Bobby Freedman. Here’s the actual video of Rovell’s on-air appearance from 1:40 a.m. ET on May 3:
We enjoy making fun of ESPN sports business reporter Darren Rovell, and do so a lot around these parts, because he is a brandbot and a doofus. For the most part, he's harmless, doing nothing worse than publicly embarrassing himself in novel and hilarious ways.
You would think that after a career full of attempts at being clever on Twitter backfiring, living BrandBot Darren Rovell would give up the bantering aspect of the platform and stick to reporting on whichever 8,000 calorie food abomination is being introduced in a minor league ballpark near you. But Rovell is…
Take note: If you're struggling with wooing matches on Tinder, just use Darren Rovell's tweets as icebreakers. Though ESPN's corpobot isn't human, his beeps and boops actually succeeded in generating conversation.