Darren Rovell Bravely Defends The Brands From Richard Sherman

Yesterday, Seattle Seahawks corner/provocateur Richard Sherman used a mandated media availability (and a life-sized cardboard cutout of Doug Baldwin) to mock the NFL for fining Marshawn Lynch $100,000 for refusing to talk to reporters two weeks ago, for blatant hypocrisy, and for expecting its athletes to behave like… » 11/26/14 12:36pm 11/26/14 12:36pm

Darren Rovell Is Bad At Beer, Too

ESPN business reporter, kale enthusiast (see above), and staff snitch Darren Rovell likes to tweet about beer sometimes. I don't know if he gets paid for these tweets (I bet he gets paid for these tweets), but regardless, he recently declared Cigar City of Tampa, Fla., to be America's finest brewery. This is not a… » 10/27/14 1:57pm 10/27/14 1:57pm

Darren Rovell Can't Tell A Two From A Five

Darren Rovell is a petty dickhead. Because people make so many jokes about how he is a money-grubbing, soulless, post-human shill for rich old men and corporations, his sheer petty dickheadedness can go underappreciated, but it's really what defines him, which is why the very best Rovell stories involve him not only… » 9/18/14 6:00pm 9/18/14 6:00pm

ESPN's Darren Rovell Now Just Straight-Out Rewriting Press Releases

Everyone gets what posthuman ESPN sports business reporter Darren Rovell is all about by now. He passes on useless trivia, acts like a cock on Twitter, reminds us that the world is a dark, sad, and terrifying place, and serves as a pure conduit for any business looking to pass on a brand message to ESPN readers. You… » 5/28/14 3:41pm 5/28/14 3:41pm

These Emails Confirm That ESPN's Darren Rovell Is A Sensitive Penis

Remember when ESPN business reporter and post-human Darren Rovell narced out a guy on Twitter for cracking a joke at his expense? At the time, a lot of people figured Rovell was just blustering. Surely, they thought, he's not so big a baby that he'd tattle on someone just for busting on him on the internet. Thanks to… » 5/05/14 4:59pm 5/05/14 4:59pm