Darren Rovell Can't Tell A Two From A Five

Darren Rovell is a petty dickhead. Because people make so many jokes about how he is a money-grubbing, soulless, post-human shill for rich old men and corporations, his sheer petty dickheadedness can go underappreciated, but it's really what defines him, which is why the very best Rovell stories involve him not only… » 9/18/14 6:00pm 49 minutes ago

ESPN's Darren Rovell Now Just Straight-Out Rewriting Press Releases

Everyone gets what posthuman ESPN sports business reporter Darren Rovell is all about by now. He passes on useless trivia, acts like a cock on Twitter, reminds us that the world is a dark, sad, and terrifying place, and serves as a pure conduit for any business looking to pass on a brand message to ESPN readers. You… » 5/28/14 3:41pm 5/28/14 3:41pm

These Emails Confirm That ESPN's Darren Rovell Is A Sensitive Penis

Remember when ESPN business reporter and post-human Darren Rovell narced out a guy on Twitter for cracking a joke at his expense? At the time, a lot of people figured Rovell was just blustering. Surely, they thought, he's not so big a baby that he'd tattle on someone just for busting on him on the internet. Thanks to… » 5/05/14 4:59pm 5/05/14 4:59pm