It's been a while, but Bill Simmons has finally weighed in on something ESPN. Naturally, it's about the show that sucks up the most oxygen in Bristol, First Take.

Last year, Terrell Suggs called Skip Bayless a douchebag, a great TV moment that made up for what it lacked in verbal majesty with a certain frankness of expression. Today, First Take debuted its new half-hour live edition for ESPN. Apparently the suits in Bristol are so worked up about the show after the Rob Parker …

ESPN execs are not sitting on their hands on this one. A day after Rob Parker's "is he a brother or is he a cornball brother" comments about Robert Griffin III, ESPN said that Parker is suspended indefinitely.

Yes, amazingly, today's cringe-inducing, bang-your-ahead-against-the-wall moment from First Take does not come from Skip Bayless. It comes from Rob Parker, who is First Take's new Saturday host! He's taking to the role perfectly.

This has been the working theory: ESPN2's First Take is bad for the soul but awfully good for business. In late September, ESPN made the show the personal property of the professionally disagreeable Skip Bayless, turning the format into wall-to-wall staged argument. The conceit looked like a hit and seemed certain to…