Lionel Messi Broke Barcelona's All-Time Goal Record With This Hat Trick

Another game, another broken record in the simply unparalleled career of Lionel Messi. His hat trick against Osasuna yesterday put him atop the all-time Barcelona scoring charts at 371, surpassing Paulino Alcántara's 87-year-old mark of 369. It was a vintage display from a player whose game is only encapsulated by… » 3/17/14 2:28pm 3/17/14 2:28pm

Sadly, This Great Picture Of Ronaldo Stealing Messi's Girl Is Fake

Cristiano Ronaldo won his second Ballon d'Or yesterday, awarded to the year's best soccer player. He beat out Lionel Messi, who had won it four years in a row. Ronaldo's win was expected (though neither he nor Messi had each other in their top three), so the highlight of the gala was the above photo that made the… » 1/14/14 9:34am 1/14/14 9:34am

Why Lionel Messi Is Even Better Than You Think

One of the key findings of The Numbers Game: Why Everything You Know About Soccer Is Wrong is that soccer, more than any other team sport, is a weak link game: matches are won and lost, and championships and relegation are secured, by the genius and quality of a club's superstars, but even more so by the leaden boots,… » 9/10/13 10:30am 9/10/13 10:30am

FC Bayern's Franck Ribéry Wins UEFA Best Player in Europe Award

Frenchman Franck Ribéry was just awarded the trophy for the UEFA Best Player in Europe. The award, which was first handed out in 2011, recognizes the best player from a European soccer club the previous season. Ribéry plays for FC Bayern, who won the UEFA Champions League over German rivals Borussia Dortmund, 2-1, last… » 8/29/13 1:02pm 8/29/13 1:02pm

PSG Is Threatening To Buy Lionel Messi. Wait. That Can't Happen, Right?

Soccer's the best. One of the reasons it's the best is that there are lots of leagues all over the world with lots of teams within them, and they all come together twice a year during the transfer windows to form one huge clusterfuck. Some of the richest clubs are owned by actual princes and/or oil tycoons, and there… » 7/19/13 4:19pm 7/19/13 4:19pm

Messi Back From Injury, Scores On His First Touch, Is Still Pretty Good

It's probably safe to say that hammy's not bothering Lionel Messi too much anymore. After being held out of last week's Champions League match against Bayern Munich, Messi returned today in the 56th minute just as Barcelona were thinking about maybe not beating La Liga foes Real Betis. He quickly put a stop to all… » 5/05/13 4:56pm 5/05/13 4:56pm

Messi Back To Scoring Ridiculous Goals, Bringing Ray Hudson To Orgasm

While Barcelona fell short of seizing La Liga today—they needed a win, and only got a draw, at Atletico Bilbao—it's hard to argue any viewer didn't get their money's worth when Lionel Messi danced amongst defenders in a demonstration of ball control that reminds anyone who might have forgotten that he's the best in… » 4/27/13 2:53pm 4/27/13 2:53pm

Without Messi, Barcelona Look All Too Mortal

Barcelona got a satisfying result in the first leg of their Champions League quarterfinal, drawing Paris Saint-Germain 2-2 in France, but it came at a price. Javier Mascherano went down with a knee injury, and Lionel Messi, the world’s best player, had to leave the game at halftime after injuring his right hamstring.… » 4/11/13 2:23pm 4/11/13 2:23pm

So, How Did The World's Best Soccer Team Manage Without The World's Best …

Barcelona traveled to Paris yesterday to take on Paris Saint-Germain in the first leg of what might be the most intriguing matchup of the Champions League quarterfinals round. PSG, bought by a group of Qatari investors last year, has quickly become one of the richest clubs in the world. This season, they bought forward … » 4/03/13 6:50pm 4/03/13 6:50pm

How The 3-4-3 Beat Milan And Rethroned Barcelona As The World's Most…

Well, this is awkward. Just two weeks ago many outlets, us sheepishly included, were shoveling dirt on top of Barça's reign as the world's best team. But following a string of terrible results—three losses in 11 days, once to Italian upstarts AC Milan and twice to bitter rivals Real Madrid—Barcelona answered. Last… » 3/13/13 4:19pm 3/13/13 4:19pm