Saturday's UFC card featured one helluva beatdown: Jon "Bones" Jones turned Chael Sonnen into a bloody mess. But at least Sonnen was ready for what eventually hit him.

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Chael Sonnen is a well-known asshole, less a person than the remnant of a figure crossed out of a bad novel's first draft for being too obviously representative. At 36, he's a convicted money launderer, state-chastised steroid user, failed Republican candidate for the Oregon House of Representatives, and shouting-head …

Danny Mainus lost his fight against Zac Chavez at a Resurrection Fighting Alliance event last Friday. That's not important, though. What's important is how "Mainus" sounds when pronounced by Australian play-by-play announcer Michael Schiavello.

Today in great ledes, this one courtesy of the Associated Press:

Nick Diaz was soundly beaten by Georges St-Pierre in UFC-158 Saturday night. When it was over, someone apparently gave him his hat and he just started talking.

It's like a real life Rocky and Apollo, except these guys are named Brandon and Aaron, this fight is not for the glory of the heavyweight championship of the world/redemption and nobody, nobody, loves his girl as much as Rocky loves Adrian.

Mark Hunt knocked out Stefan Struve at 1:44 in the third round of yesterday's UFC event in Japan, but he didn't just knock him out. The left hook knocked out a tooth, and as Struve would later discover, broke his jaw.

The UFC would like very much for you to care about its women's bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey, and you probably should. She is, beyond being quite good at hurting people, nothing short of fascinating. There really is no other explanation for how a once-anonymous Olympic judoka, who then transitioned to the equally…

With beer snakes, kangaroo delays, and a giant doping scandal, Australia is rapidly becoming our second-favorite sporting nation. Canada has some more catching up to do after this, a decidedly unsanctioned MMA bout between a shirtless man and an unsuspecting-but-not-defenseless cactus. The real winner is iodine…