PGA Tour Denies Claim That Tiger Woods Failed A Drug Test

Tiger Woods isn't golfing. He's taking some time off to rest, to heal, and to work on his game. But according to one dude who probably doesn't know anything, it's all a coverup, and Woods is actually serving a secret Tour suspension for a failed drug test. Today, both the PGA Tour and Woods's agent flatly deny the… » 3/02/15 12:30pm 3/02/15 12:30pm

Bad Golfer Tiger Woods Taking A Break From Golf

Tiger Woods, last seen doing a very realistic impression of a terrible chipper, will take a break from tournament golf, he announced on his website. Woods withdrew from last week's Farmers Insurance Open with a back injury, but says it is unrelated to the surgery he had last March to relieve a pinched nerve. Either… » 2/11/15 8:21pm 2/11/15 8:21pm

Hey, Here's A Photo Of Tiger Woods Without His Fake Front Tooth (Yes)

Go with me on this for a second. If you were gonna fly all the way out to Italy to surprise your girlfriend at her job—she's up for a record! this is important to her!—and go through the trouble of letting her family know ahead of time, and having them keep it a secret, you'd probably take a second or two to freshen… » 1/19/15 12:10pm 1/19/15 12:10pm

Lindsey Vonn Is Just As Dumb And Humorless As Her Boyfriend Tiger Woods

Yesterday at The Players' Tribune, "Tiger Woods" "wrote" the dumbest fucking thing in response to a satirical, obviously fake piece that ran in a recent issue of Golf Digest. All Woods's blockheaded complaint did was alert the world to how much of a dense, robotic dolt he is, and now his girlfriend, Olympic skiier… » 11/19/14 12:32pm 11/19/14 12:32pm

Rory McIlroy: Tiger And Phil Are "Into The Back Nine Of Their Careers"

The Tour Championship begins today, and it's the first time since 1992 that neither Tiger Woods nor Phil Mickelson qualified. We are, by any reasonable observer, toward the tail-end of a generational torch-passing at the top. The world's No. 1 certainly qualifies as a reasonable observer. » 9/11/14 2:17pm 9/11/14 2:17pm

At Least The Tiger Woods Bullshit Machine Is As Healthy As Ever

So Tiger Woods backed out of the Masters this week after having a microdiscectomy operation on his spine. And, in accordance with how Tiger Woods conducts business, a gangbang of faceless agents and marketers came together on his behalf and posted a formal statement on his website about the withdrawal, which included… » 4/02/14 2:36pm 4/02/14 2:36pm