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Actually, Here Is A Good Ranking Of The Fruits

Many internet web sites like to rank the fruits. You can see right away that these rankings are wrong and bad, both because their results are stupid, and for the reason those results are stupid, which is that they were assembled using a lousy-ass amateurish methodology. Amateur bush-league-ass fruit-rankers are… » 8/14/14 2:15pm 8/14/14 2:15pm

A List Of Things Old People Are Pussies About

Recently a woman eating at a North Carolina McDonald's found a butter swastika on the inside of her bun. Now, you might think that we are all defiantly anti-swastika out there, but some of the comments on a news story about the incident proved otherwise, including one that concluded with the following: » 8/11/14 4:39pm 8/11/14 4:39pm

Taste Test: Milk And Honey Original Café Mix, The Alleged Best Cereal

Back in February, our Tim Marchman posted a list that purported to rank breakfast cereals in order of deliciousness. His selection of something called "Milk and Honey Original Café Mix" for the top spot—on what's a pretty comprehensive list of the breakfast cereals you can find in your typical supermarket, mind… » 7/31/14 5:02pm 7/31/14 5:02pm

Better Ways To Name Hurricanes, Ranked

There's a paper making its way around the internet today that puts forth that hurricanes that are named after women have been historically more deadly than those named after men. There's an appealing simplicity of stupid to this—people associate men with strength, and get killed by hurricanes because they don't see… » 6/02/14 6:17pm 6/02/14 6:17pm

The Top 10 Items Worth Stealing From Publix

When news broke this morning that Heisman winner Jameis Winston may have been busted for lifting some crab legs from a Tallahassee-area Publix supermarket, we felt a bit sad. There are way better things to shoplift from the store Where Shopping Is A Pleasure™, after all. Here are ten of those things. » 4/30/14 1:01pm 4/30/14 1:01pm

Spring Beers, Ranked

Good news: No matter how you do your seasonal accounting, it's definitely spring now. You're already kinda bored with baseball, you've got mud in previously undiscovered orifices, and your favorite fair-weather hot dog stand will come and go before Dick Vitale screams at you again. Furthermore, I solemnly swear not to… » 4/14/14 12:35pm 4/14/14 12:35pm

Skyline Figures You'd Like Blue Noodles Under Your Diarrhea Sludge

Would you get a load of that horror. I mean lean on in here and get a nice big load of it. That is a pair of tubs of pasta, dyed red and blue by Louisville's Skyline Chili locations as a... what? celebration? like hell! ...of the upcoming Louisville-Kentucky Sweet 16 matchup. Because Skyline Chili figures that if… » 3/25/14 5:40pm 3/25/14 5:40pm