Kitten Bowl Player Names, Ranked

Cat puns are the highest form of humor. Now that Hallmark Channel has unveiled the roster for this year's Kitten Bowl, it's time to subjectively and correctly rank the competitors' names. » 1/16/15 11:34am 1/16/15 11:34am

Times Of Day To Have Some Damn Peace And Quiet Around Here, Ranked

When you are a Sad Dad, one of the things you spend the most time pining for—after, like, an actual grown-up date with your spouse, a window of more than five minutes in which to take a shower, and relief from the constant background awareness of your own bottomless inadequacy—is some damn peace and quiet. "Can we… » 11/17/14 3:59pm 11/17/14 3:59pm

Which Animals Are The Worst To Eat, Morally?

People put domesticated animals on a pedestal. Sometimes humans get even more riled up when athletes kill dogs than when they kill other humans. And they flip shit over the mere suggestion of putting horse meat on the market. » 11/07/14 1:47pm 11/07/14 1:47pm

Superheroes, Ranked

Earlier today, after Marvel announced plans to release about 837 new superhero movies over the next few years, heated debate broke out among Deadspin staffers over such questions as whether or not it matters that Batman is a crypto-fascist, whether anyone in the entire world will be rooting for Superman in the… » 10/28/14 5:59pm 10/28/14 5:59pm

Things I Consumed At The Minnesota State Fair, Ranked

Since I married a Minnesotan, I married into Midwestern food traditions like hot dish and pannekoeken. An annual part of that tradition includes The Great Minnesota Get-Together, the second-largest state fair in the country, and its bounty of culinary delights. » 8/29/14 11:56am 8/29/14 11:56am

Actually, Here Is A Good Ranking Of The Fruits

Many internet web sites like to rank the fruits. You can see right away that these rankings are wrong and bad, both because their results are stupid, and for the reason those results are stupid, which is that they were assembled using a lousy-ass amateurish methodology. Amateur bush-league-ass fruit-rankers are… » 8/14/14 2:15pm 8/14/14 2:15pm