Dion Waiters Goes For Dunk, Gets Destroyed, Is Terrible

Millennial Dion Waiters stinks and is bad; tonight against the Wizards, he tried to dunk on Kevin Seraphin and got stoned—with both hands!—directly to hell. My favorite part is Jon Barry and Mike Breen both initially assuming it must have been a foul, before watching the replay and realizing, yep, Dion Waiters just… » 11/21/14 10:19pm Friday 10:19pm

Report: Bradley Beal To Miss "Significant" Time With Wrist Injury

Washington Wizards guard Bradley Beal will miss "significant" time after suffering a wrist injury in a preseason game against the Charlotte Hornets Friday, according to CSN Washington's J. Michael. Nobody would give Michael a specific timetable because Beal and the team are still consulting with doctors, but he's also… » 10/11/14 5:19pm 10/11/14 5:19pm

Marcin Gortat Gets A Hard-Ass Mohawk, Becomes Terrifying

All in all, Marcin Gortat is a pretty good NBA center. He's big, he's strong, he's got pretty nimble feet for his size. He sets devastating screens, he's an outstanding finisher rolling to the hoop, he's generally OK at being in the right place defensively. He also happens to be a ludicrously enormous and quite… » 9/24/14 3:54pm 9/24/14 3:54pm

Gilbert Arenas Lives To Hate On Roy Hibbert

Roy Hibbert pooped the bed again last night, failing to score a single point or pull down a single rebound in 18 minutes against the Wizards. Watching Roy Hibbert play like shit for the last eight games has been the most depressing thing about these playoffs, but his struggles have also brought a great deal of joy to… » 5/06/14 9:48am 5/06/14 9:48am

I Can't Stop Looking At This Washington Wizards Hustle Chart

The Washington Wizards are relatively dope this year, and are currently resting their legs after laying that five-game smackage on the Sad Chicago Bulls. What's changed this year, besides a great offseason (Otto Porter notwithstanding) and a great Marcin Gortat trade and the steady progression of a great backcourt?… » 5/02/14 3:14pm 5/02/14 3:14pm

Nene Suspended One Game For Head-Butting Jimmy Butler

Wizards big man Nene has been suspended for Game 4 against the Bulls after this altercation with Jimmy Butler. Early in the fourth quarter of the Bulls win over Washington, Nene head-butted Butler, then grabbed him around the head and neck, and the two had to be pulled apart by referees and teammates. Nene was… » 4/26/14 4:26pm 4/26/14 4:26pm

Even The Chicago Bulls' Security Staff Is Sick Of Joey Crawford's Shit

The Chicago Bulls have set up a kind of text-message hotline that fans can use to hail the assistance of the arena's security team. Reader Dave was at the game between the Bulls and the Wizards last night, and he tried his luck at getting referee Joey Crawford—who made a number of bad calls and whom everyone hates » 4/23/14 3:07pm 4/23/14 3:07pm

Did Nene's Whistle From The Bench Make Hinrich Miss His Foul Shot? (No.)

Last night in overtime of the Wizards-Bulls game, Kirk Hinrich went to the line with 2.4 seconds left, the score 101-99, and a chance to tie the game. But he missed! How could this be? Last night, we thought it was because he was a clutch gene-free, low-motor choke artist. But today, we may have our answer. » 4/23/14 1:00pm 4/23/14 1:00pm

Oh Hell, Root For The Wizards: John Wall's Brave, Stubborn Playoff Run

If you have watched much Washington Wizards basketball over the past four seasons, first of all, why, and I am so sorry—but also, you have seen John Wall chase down a ballhandler in transition, take off like a fucking F/A-18 off a carrier deck, and swat the absolute shit out of the ball. It's really something. » 4/22/14 3:10pm 4/22/14 3:10pm

YOU ARE OLD: Bradley Beal Wore "23" Because Of LeBron, Not MJ

Bradley Beal always wore the number 23, from AAU ball to preps to his single year of college. He had to switch to No. 3 when he was drafted by the Wizards, since that number's unofficially retired for one Michael Jeffrey Jordan. You'd think Beal would be honored. But no, it turns out, he wore 23 because he idolized… » 1/06/14 4:10pm 1/06/14 4:10pm