Boogie Cousins And John Wall Put On A Show; Some Team Also Won I Guess

A point guard and a center generally can't duel in the way we usually think of players dueling—directly, one-on-one, attacking each other at both ends. Apart from the occasional defensive switch or confrontation at the rim, they'll mostly compete from a distance, and indirectly, via their teams and the scoreboard. … » 3/15/15 1:15pm 3/15/15 1:15pm

Nene Plays Like Shit, Gets Taunted By Old Dudes

The Wizards, now in the midst of a 1-7 skid, got beat last night by a Bulls team that was without Jimmy Butler, Taj Gibson, and Derrick Rose. The Wiz are a goddamn mess right now, but nobody had a worse night than Nene. » 3/04/15 10:06am 3/04/15 10:06am

Uhh, Otto?

There is playing poor defense, entirely blowing a play on defense, and not even trying to play defense ... and then there is whatever the hell Otto Porter was doing here. Porter didn't just let Tony Snell sneak backdoor on him; he let Tony Snell leisurely jog 30 feet backdoor on him before he remembered to run! » 3/03/15 11:15pm 3/03/15 11:15pm

The Wizards' Celebration Of Black History Month Is A Little Tone-Deaf

The Washington Wizards created a pop-up website to celebrate Black History Month. The site is full of pictures of various members of the Wizards organization spliced next to a picture of a historical black figure that inspires them, and a quote from each person featured. It's mostly a harmless idea, until Ted Leonsis… » 3/02/15 1:51pm 3/02/15 1:51pm

Uh, Guys? I Think The Wizards Forgot To Fire Randy Wittman?

Coming into Sunday's game in Detroit, the Washington Wizards had lost two straight and 9 of 13, a month-long stretch of almost uniformly horrendous basketball in which they've fallen from second to fifth in the East. After the 38-point beating they took from the Cavs at home this past Friday, even that fifth-place… » 2/24/15 1:58pm 2/24/15 1:58pm

Mason Plumlee Commits Ultimate Party Foul, Wrecks Entire Tray Of Beers

Nets big man Mason Plumlee couldn't hit the brakes fast enough before slamming into a Verizon Center waitress tonight, laying waste to her entire tray of beers. For front-row service at an NBA game, that's gotta be like $200 worth of suds, gone in a flash. Don't worry, Mason, we'll always have this. » 2/07/15 8:52pm 2/07/15 8:52pm

So, The Wizards Aren't Handling This Slump All That Well

Shit's rough for the Wizards these days, man. After a few months of hanging steady near the top of the East and raking in national praise for their fun young backcourt duo of John Wall and Bradley Beal, they've dumped five in a row, seven of nine, and have been overtaken by the refurbished and newly wakeful Cavs. … » 2/06/15 3:49pm 2/06/15 3:49pm

Alley-Oops Are The Best Inbounds Plays

If last night saw the nadir in inbounds plays, tonight presents the zenith. A nice play call saw Gerald Henderson peel around a Cody Zeller screen unguarded, and help defender Marcin Gortat was only able to react in time to foul Henderson, not prevent the alley-oop. This is how all inbounds plays should work. » 2/05/15 7:41pm 2/05/15 7:41pm

I Can't Stop Watching John Wall Chop The Nuggets With This Slick Pass

John Wall was at his very best last night in Denver: hanging 19 points and 16 assists on the Nuggets, snatching the endgame away with a flurry of buckets and assists, doing that John Wall thing where the court and the basket and all the players start to seem like a big circuitboard and the ball is just a signal… » 1/26/15 11:59am 1/26/15 11:59am

Paul Pierce Channels Surly Russell Westbrook In Postgame Interview

On Friday night, Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook pulled a Marshawn Lynch during his postgame media scrum, answering every question with some version of "we did a good job executing" before looking one reporter dead in the face and saying, "I just don't like you." Wizards small forward and jolly old basketball… » 1/19/15 11:43am 1/19/15 11:43am

Jeff Gordon Is A Ruthless Tricyclist

Look at Smuggy McSmuggykins Jeff Gordon flying off with the lead in this trike race. It's one thing to race another Washington Wizards basketball fan on a tricycle. It's another thing to completely dominate at it, man. » 1/14/15 3:54pm 1/14/15 3:54pm

John Wall Is In Control

You may have skipped yesterday's Christmas Day game between the Knicks and Wizards, in part because the craptacular Knicks were involved, and in part because a certain level of pacing is required when there are 12 hours of basketball to watch. If you did skip it, you didn't miss the greatest game ever (spoiler alert:… » 12/26/14 11:17am 12/26/14 11:17am

Quincy Acy Tries To Swing On John Wall, Small Brawl Ensues

The Knicks are getting outclassed by the Wizards today, and New York's frustration boiled over in the fourth quarter. With John Wall driving to the hoop, Quincy Acy — perhaps trying to stop another 360-degree layup — hits Wall with a forearm shiver at the right elbow. Wall was having none of that shit, though, and… » 12/25/14 2:23pm 12/25/14 2:23pm

Wizards Win On Bradley Beal Alley-Oop Layup With 0.8 Seconds Left

Bradley Beal still looks a bit off after missing the first three weeks of the season with a fractured wrist, but this is sure to raise his spirits. The Wizards entered the fourth quarter down eight to the Magic, but a furious rally led by John Wall tied the game on Rasual Butler's free throw with 16 seconds left.… » 12/10/14 9:54pm 12/10/14 9:54pm

John Wall Collapses In Tears After Emotional Post-Game Interview

Last season, Wizards guard John Wall befriended cancer patient Miyah Telemaque-Nelson and helped the little girl meet Nicki Minaj. Miyah died today at the age of six, and an inspired Wall scored 26 points with 17 assists in leading Washington to a double-OT win over the Celtics. After the game, he was left… » 12/08/14 10:25pm 12/08/14 10:25pm

John Wall Destroyed The Lakers Last Night

Kobe Bryant and Nick Young hit a bunch of fluky long jumpers in a row during the second quarter of the Lakers' game in DC last night; with around six minutes left in the half they led by 11 points, and if you saw the score (47-36) crawl across the bottom of your screen just then, you might've thought, Damn, they're… » 12/04/14 1:22pm 12/04/14 1:22pm

Andre Miller Throws Some Classic Old-Man Game At The Heat, Scores

Andre Miller is 941 years old and has been in the NBA longer than it has existed; his first career assist, as a matter of fact, was a pocket bounce-pass to a rolling Chester Arthur for a two-handed jam. In all the years since, Gramps has learned a few tricks to augment his nonexistent athleticism, and he whipped out… » 12/01/14 9:46pm 12/01/14 9:46pm

Dion Waiters Goes For Dunk, Gets Destroyed, Is Terrible

Millennial Dion Waiters stinks and is bad; tonight against the Wizards, he tried to dunk on Kevin Seraphin and got stoned—with both hands!—directly to hell. My favorite part is Jon Barry and Mike Breen both initially assuming it must have been a foul, before watching the replay and realizing, yep, Dion Waiters just… » 11/21/14 10:19pm 11/21/14 10:19pm

Report: Bradley Beal To Miss "Significant" Time With Wrist Injury

Washington Wizards guard Bradley Beal will miss "significant" time after suffering a wrist injury in a preseason game against the Charlotte Hornets Friday, according to CSN Washington's J. Michael. Nobody would give Michael a specific timetable because Beal and the team are still consulting with doctors, but he's also… » 10/11/14 5:19pm 10/11/14 5:19pm

The Wizards Lead The NBA In Street Fighter Hairdos

You'll recall last week, when Washington Wizards center Marcin Gortat unveiled his hard-ass new mohawk 'do and transformed instantaneously from an affable Euro dude into a terrifying Death-Slav from hell. Well, it appears that Street Fighter-based coiffures are becoming A Thing on the Wizards: Check out Gortat's… » 9/29/14 6:21pm 9/29/14 6:21pm