If you can think of something whiter than a college lacrosse team entering the field to an EDM track remixed with a Donald Trump speech in which the soundbite poorly aligns with the beat, spill it. Until then, this is the reigning champion.
You may have read Hunter S. Thompson’s famous article recounting the rampant debauchery at the Kentucky Derby and thought you’d glimpsed the true, beating heart of insane white people shit. But you’d have been mistaken. It’s not until you see these photos of the Melbourne Cup, Australia’s most drunken and depraved…
In what will probably go down as the most effective marketing ploy directed solely at white people since the invention of gourmet mayonnaise, the Indiana Pacers have announced that the team will wear Hickory High jerseys—the very same worn by the fictional high school basketball team in the movie Hoosiers—during a…
Here is a bad rap song:
Apparently some people are confused. The US Junior Ryder Cup team has been attempting to make their shitty interpretation of the Shmoney Dance their official celebratory dance, and some people are buying in. But this is good. This is teachable.
My thoughts on the ice bucket challenge are complicated and not worth going into here. My thoughts on people falling down, bashing themselves over the head, and otherwise harming and embarrassing themselves are much simpler: I am staunchly pro-slapstick.
The temptation is to say there are no winners here, what with the cop getting needlessly pushy and the bro trying to summon James Madison from his grave with his slurring bluster about injustice. But you know what? Fuck this. We're on Team Bro here.