Football Page 1209 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bristolmetrics: The Jets Are America's Team, According To Tebow-Horny <em>SportsCenter</em>
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....

Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke Is "Meaner Than Anyone In The World," Writes Little Girl
The trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner: not doing so hot. "Aesthetically dead if not actually dead," the university said last week. (Still, they might be doing better than Harvey Updyke, who is living in his car in the woods as he awaits trial.) The oaks received a massive pruning earlier this month,...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Green Bay Packers
Some people are fans of the Green Bay Packers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Green Bay Packers. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Why Should We Care About Concussions When NFL Players Don't?
At a June roundtable event in New York City hosted by PACE, an education program sponsored by Dick's Sporting Goods, former New York Giants linebacker Carl Banks told a haunting story about the culture of the NFL in the 1980s....

It's Still Too Soon To Tell Whether Junior Seau's Brain Had Been Damaged By Football
The major findings of Junior Seau's autopsy showed that he had no alcohol or drugs in his system at the time of his death. Oh, right: According to a headline trumpeted on CNN's website, Seau's brain also showed no sign of damage. Which must mean football's in the clear, right? Well, no. The medical ...

Everyone Hates Preseason Football, Except The 9.5 Million People Who Watched Colts-Steelers: TV Ratings, In Context
A weekly feature wherein we contextualize TV ratings for national sports broadcasts. Data via Nielsen and Sports Business Journal's John Ourand. Viewership numbers represent approximate number of persons tuned to a given program; ratings share refers to the percentage of all households using a telev...

Bart Scott Says Prince Amukamara Should Be Hazed More
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Rookies should probably stay away from Bart Scott....

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Busted On Child Porn Charges
Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner faces child pornography charges after being booked by Eagle Lake cops at his home today. The Division II Mavericks' coach has been on administrative leave since Friday after university officials escorted him off the practice field....

Clinton Portis, Coach Janky Spanky, Sheriff Gonna Getcha, Southeast Jerome, Dolla Bill, Dr. Do Itch Big, Bro Sweets, Prime Minister Yah Mon, Bud Foxx, Coconut Jones, And Choo-Choo All Announce Their NFL Retirements
Clinton Portis, who last played through an injury-plagued year in 2010, will officially announce his retirement Thursday at a news conference at Redskins Park. Portis was fabulous for the better part of seven seasons in Denver and Washington, but his legacy might suffer from the fact that he played ...

Georgia May Have To Self-Report NCAA Violation After Dumbass Fan Calls Recruit
Steven Nelson is a cornerback for the College of the Sequoias, and as a three-star recruit on Rivals.com is one of the more anticipated juco transfers coming out after this season. He committed to Georgia back in February, but is keeping his options open and touring other interested schools. He repo...

Here Are A Bunch Of Photos Of Tom Brady Being Weird With A Dog
Tom Brady didn't play in last night's Patriots-Eagles game, which means that New Englanders need to look elsewhere for their fill of the golden boy. He will not appear in WHDH b-roll, he will not call into Dennis & Callahan, he will not appear below the fold on the front page of the Hartford Courant...

Nothing Better Illustrates The Futility Of Replacement Refs Than This Video Of One Being Hit By A Football
Jerry Frump wore the white hat for last night's Patriots-Eagles preseason game, and like all of this year's replacement-refereed games it was a bit of a disaster for the zebras. While players openly voice concern for their health in games managed by scabs, the NFL seems perfectly content to head i...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Detroit Lions
Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
![Michael Vick Injured Again, Knocked Out Of Preseason Game [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Michael Vick Injured Again, Knocked Out Of Preseason Game [UPDATE]
A week after being injured in the Eagles' first preseason game, Michael Vick once again made an early exit after suffering a massive hit from New England defensive end Jermaine Cunningham in the first quarter of tonight's game in Foxborough....

Wait, The Chiefs Managed To Keep Tamba Hali's Arrest Hidden For This Long?
Earlier today, the NFL announced that Chiefs OLB Tamba Hali will be suspended for one game and lose two game checks. That was all the detail we had. The league's policy clearly dictates four games for performance-enhancing drugs, so it wasn't that. Greg Aiello said the violation "isn't defined speci...


Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Andrew Luck Made A Shitty Doodle of Lucas Oil Stadium And It Sold For $1500 On Ebay
People often bemoan the grown men who go autograph hunting, and maybe rightly so, but that's a debate for another day because there is something far, far worse. It is the guy who spends $1500 on a fucking chicken scratch sketch of a stadium drawn and signed by some rookie NFL player who hasn't even...

Announcer Says Cowboys WR Cole Beasley Is "Unbeas-lievable," Cole Beasley Vomits
Despite the sickening pun, Cole Beasley finished the game with seven catches for 104 yards. He also threw up a lot. Beasley says it was no big deal, he just got the wind knocked out of him on a hit and he landed on the ball. He also says he throws up a lot....

Jay Glazer's NFL Training Camp Survival Kit Included A Steak Knife Under His Pillow
There's a quick question and answer profile on Jay Glazer in the Albany Times-Union that covers most of the usual bases. Terribly boring and soul-crushing jobs at the outset, dogged determination, a secret mixed-martial arts career and eventual success in one's profession....