Amanda Beard apologized on Thursday for her recent comments about Michael Phelps, but not before she was raked over the coals by a crack panel of highly-respected journalists on CNN. OK, actually they're three D-list characters I'd never heard of. But it was CNN, which promises to get back to that whole Iraq War thing the minute that anything interesting happens. Here's what Beard said to People Magazine:

"Everyone who knows me knows that I can be a jokester, but I guess I took it too far. I never meant to say anything rude about Michael. I am 100 percent sorry for what I said."

It was on Wednesday that Beard dissed Phelps on a Phoenix, Ariz., radio show, saying that as potential dating material, he had all the charm of the contents of a restaurant dumpster. I believe the word "Ew" was used at least twice. CNN then jumped on the story, calling in "Showbiz Tonight" correspondents Lauren Lake, Michael Musto and Ben Widdicombe to break down the developing story. Lake, who is evidently a lawyer, said that Beard is secretly longing for Phelps (I think this is true). Musto seemed to indicate that he wanted Phelps for himself, and Widdicombe said something in a drippy British accent that I couldn't understand. Now back to Wolf Blitzer in the Situation Room. One country yet to be heard from in all of this, by the way: Stephanie Rice. But don't worry, CNN will get to the bottom of it; they're embedding reporters as we speak. Beard Disses Phelps [CNN]