Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

A Children's Treasury Of Mascots Eating People

Mascots are running wild at our sporting events, both home and abroad. Who will put a stop to the madness? And why won't the music coordinators at these arenas use Temple of the Dog in place of Weird Al?

Thankfully a nearby stag sprang to action and prevented a disaster at this Buck's game. Fake points awarded for exhibiting a clear narrative. [YouTube]

Mackerel Jordan is a savage beast. If you see him charging, it's already too late. [YouTube]

Mackerel Jordan resurfaces in Richmond. [YouTube}

Clammy Sosa (damn you, John McDonough) shows that even the crowds enjoying our national pastime (drinking at Wrigley) are not safe from the scourge. [YouTube]

This poor soul may have survived if he hadn't tried to trick the Leviathan. Lesson learned. [YouTube]


Devour anonymous university employees, but please, leave the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders out of this. [@studiodog]

Clutch, the Houston Rockets ... Bear, likes cheerleaders with adequate skills (at acting) as much as he likes salmon. And he likes salmon (presumably). [urlesque]

What's more frightening: the uncomfortably realistic bear tongue or the Pena Eye Institute dirigible? PUSH. [urlesque]

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