Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

A Special Message From Rams And Chargers Fans

Illustration for article titled A Special Message From Rams And Chargers Fans

Yesterday, the NFL approved a deal that will send the St. Louis Rams back to Los Angeles, with a second team joining them within a year, if not sooner. That second team will almost certainly be the San Diego Chargers, whose owner, Dean Spanos, will have to settle for a mere windfall instead of a bonanza once he irons out the details of sharing a stadium with Rams owner Stan Kroenke.


But that’s all in the future. Today, we are left to deal with two fanbases—St. Louis and San Diego—poised to lose their teams (Oakland fans, meanwhile, will have to wait for an official side deal with some other city until they can begin formally grieving). We have letters from both Chargers and Rams fans about the deal, and we have published some of them down below. Because talking things out is healthy and good. Let’s get on with it.


Kroenke I hope a glass rod is shoved in your pee hole and smashed.


Despite the fact that the Rams have underperformed the last few seasons, I’m not going to give in to my anger first. The actual players have been great to the city, nothing but an asset to the community, especially vets like Chris Long and James Laurinaitis. The team that played against the Seahawks and 49ers just a few weeks ago is on their way to becoming something special if all of the pieces fall into place (just like every year the last five years or so), and I can’t fault or resent them if secretly they wanted to play in Los Angeles.

But to know that the state and the city actually put a lot on the line and made a proposal that conceded quite a bit to the NFL and to have that proposal brushed aside is atrocious. They stuck their necks out to try to keep the team and the NFL brazenly brushed them aside.

For Stan Kroenke and his team to insult St. Louis, not just with last week’s filing to move, but in lying to the city and the state when he took majority ownership of the team, when he promised he had no designs on moving the franchise, and then when he did as little as possible to engage with the fanbase, with the team, with state and city officials, to repeatedly ignore the press and only speak to the media once in his time as sole owner, at Jeff Fischer’s press conference is god damn egregious. He made no effort, no attempt at all to uphold the bargain he agreed to when he took over sole ownership.

It was shrewd, calculating and so indicative of the kind of impersonal business side of sports that people have come to loathe. Sports are supposed to be filled with heart and passion and teamwork and camaraderie and respect.

Kroenke knows none of those things, and I feel for him because he doesn’t.


Stan Kroenke is a duplicitous piece of shit. Fuck him. His ownership is a taint, not just in the sense of a stain on the NFL, but literally a taint, the area between the anus and testicles.

Fuck Stan and his toupee.


That’s how the only football franchise I’ve rooted for is leaving, back from whence they came.

If you’ll forgive me, I have some 1999 playoff highlights to YouTube and whiskey to drink.


I hope Stan Kroenke gets 10 non-skid dildos shoved up his asshole.


Dear Spanos,

Good job, man. You get to go to LA. I mean, things aren’t all roses for you, you’ve found your lips sewn to Stan Kroenke’s asshole, firmly entrenched in position 2 on the #NFL2LA owner centipede. But YAY, LA!

San Diego will be fine without your shitty franchise.

Thanks for that one memory of the Chargers getting blown the fuck out in the Super Bowl.


This is the second time in my lifetime that St. Louis has lost a (very mediocre) football team. The first time I was a freshman in college, now I am nearing the half-century mark. The avarice of these owners is astonishing; their lack of empathy breathtaking. I am gutted...absolutely gutted. I REALLY hope there is such a thing as karma.



I lived through Sean Salisbury, Craig Whelihan, Moses Moreno, and the Ryan Fucking Leaf eras of the team. I watched them get destroyed by the 49ers in Super Bowl XXIX and the tragedies of the ‘94 team: Seau, Rodney Culver, Chris Mims, and Lew Bush. I endured Marty Ball, Norv Face, and Bobby Beathard’s insane draft picks. Getting rid of Drew Brees, Vincent Jackson, Michael Turner, Darren Sproles, LT, Rodney Harrison, and soon to be Eric Weddle in the prime of their careers. That shit stain team doctor!! Fuck you Dean Spanos, I can’t believe you have me missing the days of Craig Whelihan.



I welcome the Chargers to LA and a beautiful empty stadium for home games, unless their opponent travels, in which case the Chargers will be the visitors. Never again will they have a home team advantage.



Dear Mr. Kroenke,

Since you took over full ownership of the Rams in 2010 your record is 36-59-1.

The Blues are 219-119-38 since 2010.

The Cardinals are 551-421 since 2010.

Maybe in Inglewood you’ll do better. Dirtbag.


This whole relocation debacle is the cherry on top of the shit sundae that is Roger Goodell’s legacy as NFL Commish. A warning to fans of other mid market teams...This could happen to you. If your stadium is over 20 years old, prepare to face this same battle in the near future. You owner is going to want HUNDREDS of MILLIONS dollars in public money to upgrade the current facility, or build a new one. And even if your city puts together an actionable plan, he might leave anyway for “greener” pastures. The NFL and its owners do not care about the fans.

And remember, when those “Football is Family” commercials play during the playoffs, remember that sometimes your family has a creepy, older uncle with a gross mustache and bad toupee.



I pray that, one night soon, Dean Spanos is visited by each of the ghosts of the 1994 San Diego Chargers and, in succession, they each tear off a little piece of him.



Fuck Dean Spanos with a bandolier of taxpayer-subsidized dildos. I regret that I have but 2 middle fingers to give him on his way out.



FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck Dean Spanos.



Roger Goodell can go to hell.


Thanks for ruining my childhood memories of Junior Seau. Thanks for killing all the memories of LT. I watched every game of the year we went 1-15 and this is what I get. Fuck you. Just cause our city didn’t want to pay for all of your stadium in the place you wanted fuck you. I hate you. I don’t even want to watch sports anymore so fuck you.



I wanna thank the NFL for telling STL to get public funding for an NFL stadium, which they did, then disparaging the stadium plan and STL’s request for $100M in NFL financing for the new stadium. $100M which they then gave the Raiders to fuck off and go swim around in shit in the Coliseum for the foreseeable future.

Thank you to the Rams team, for being a god awful piece of trash outside of a 3-year period, but due to the nature of fandom worming your way into my life and breaking my heart.

And finally, thank you to Enos Stanley Kroenke, for not only taking our team away, but taking a gigantic shit all over the city during the process. You had 4 winning seasons in 21 years here, but clearly the fans were at fault. I mean, you did make “significant investments” in the team, AKA spending close to the salary cap. THANKS FOR SPLURGING BRO. Buddy, I hope you get crushed by a beam while observing the construction of the new stadium.



My parents have had Chargers season tickets for over 40 years. With the exception of my 4 years away at college and 3 at law school (during which my seat sat empty), I went to damn near every game at the Murph for the last 30+ years. Sitting in my seat after the last game had ended, I was flooded with memories. I was sitting right here when Nate Kaeding missed 3 field goals in that playoff game we lost by 3 to the Jets. I was sitting right here when Marlon McCree came up with a 4th down interception to seal that playoff game against the Patriots, then tried to return it instead of taking a knee, and fumbled, setting up an easy game-winning field-goal. You get the idea. I wasn’t remembering any of the incredible things LT did, or any of the records Gates set, or any of the monster hits by Rodney Harrison, or any of the 50-yard Humphries-to-Martin bombs, or the roar of the crowd when Junior Seau would run out of the tunnel. Because all of that meant nothing. We never won anything. You need that moment of triumph to help you cope with all that disappointment, and we never had it. My life as a Chargers fan has been one of intense frustration. And now they’re gone.

I can deal with it. Sure it sucks, but whatever, we’ll get the Jaguars or some shit in a few years, and it’ll be fine. Who I feel bad for is my dad. He’s 77 years old, and he’s had season tickets since 1974. He never misses a game. He’s a hopeless optimist. Every year of my life has been the year. Our year. Finally. ‘But dad, we were 1-15 last year’. ‘You don’t know shit, son, this LT kid is somethin’ else. He’s gonna do it. This is our year.’ And if the football gods were merciful, I would sit and watch over the course of a season as the hope slowly faded. If the gods were cruel, I would watch as an interception or shanked field-goal crushed the light out of his eyes as we choked away another playoff game. These are things that every fan goes through, but unlike most fans, we never had that moment of vindication to make it all worth it. That’s the legacy of Spanos. He’s the guy who let his shitty kids run around the front office like a goddamned Arby’s playhouse while ridiculously talented teams withered and died under shitty management and yes-man coaching. Fuck you, Spanos. There’s a man right now in San Diego, a man who’s funneled dozens and dozens of thousands of dollars into your shitty organization, who’s defended and supported you at every turn, who never believed you could be so cold as to turn your back on the people he screams with every other Sunday. You’ve never given this man anything but misery, but that wasn’t enough. You had to take his hope from him too.



I want to start by thanking the Rams. My dad was a season ticket holder with the Cardinals before they left and having football again in ‘95 meant a lot to him, even if he won’t admit it tonight, while I’m sure he’s crying into a mostly empty bottle of Maker’s Mark. Sitting in the Dome and watching the Rams clinch the NFC title before going on to win the Super Bowl in ‘99 was probably the second greatest moment of his life, right behind the day I was born (with his marriage coming in third and my brother’s birth a distant 4th). Yes, St. Louis got fucked today.

I have no doubts in my mind that Kroenke and Goodell had this planned all along. You see, I was mistaken in thinking that the owners controlled Goodell, when it’s very obvious that old Rog’ and Eric Grubman did what they had to do to manipulate the other owners into doing what they wanted, which was to let the fucking rat with a shit stain on his upper lip buy his way into LA. So Stan, if you would, take the time tonight to pour a large amount of molten lava right into your asshole. FUCK THE NFL and FUCK STAN KROENKE.



I grew up here in St. Louis, am old enough to remember the Greatest Show on Turf, and even had the good fortune as a child to meet Kurt Warner in line at the local Dierbergs grocery store and get an autographed trading card from him. These fond childhood memories were enough to sustain me through the years of mediocrity or outright shit-awfulness that followed. I thought they’d be around long enough for it to get better, but when you have such a dipshit, money-grubbing, spineless, cowardly worm for an owner, your dreams are bound to die slowly. When you refuse to talk to your city for your entire tenure owning a losing team, of course fan support is going to dwindle.

Really though, the sore spot for me is not them leaving, it’s Kroenke and his entourage doing everything they could to piss all over the town before they left. The idea that a town with one of the best baseball teams, a pretty great hockey team, and rabid fanbases for them and the Rams doesn’t have the “passion” is total horseshit. Look, St. Louis is far from perfect , but for this to come from a practically-hometown boy is a real punch to the gut. Fuck, his parents even named him Enos Stanley Kroenke after two of the best goddamn baseball players we ever had, one of whom was treated as a living god for the rest of his years. They’ve got to be rolling in their graves, and from now on I will pray nightly that the resurrected corpses of our dear departed stars tear him limb from godforsaken limb, preferably as soon as possible, but if they want to wait until he’s rotting in the 9th circle of hell, that’s also acceptable.

Also on my shit list now, Jerry Jones, Roger Goodell, and Dean Spanos. Fuck you, Jerry, you shrunken lizard of a man, mind your own business in your shitty overpriced stadium. I hope that giant screen falls and crushes you like a bug. Fuck you, Roger, didn’t think I could like you any less after ballghazi, your willy-nilly responses to domestic abuse, and the concussion debacle. $100 million extra was too much to ask to keep the team but you’re fine paying Oakland off instead? May your car stall in front of a train.



Fuck you Dean Spanos. Congratulations on becoming even more filthy rich, only having to betray your own city and fans. I hope you enjoyed this season’s attendance and the emotion showed by fans in the final home game, because you will never see that in Los Angeles.

Chargers home games being overtaken by away fans will be infinitely worse in LA. No one in LA cares about the chargers. You are already playing second fiddle to the Rams before even playing a game there. San Diego has always supported the Chargers, and attendance and ticket sales number back this up, no matter how the NFL tries to spin it. You can’t seriously think LA will love the Chargers and support them through all the heartbreaking and infuriating losses the Chargers have put us through and the general shitshow that this franchise is. You will quickly be exposed as the joke of an owner that you are. Go fuck yourself.



Here’s my son right after the announcement.

Illustration for article titled A Special Message From Rams And Chargers Fans

Stan Kroenke can eat one. This guy is a snake.


May each owner that votes for these moves have their scrotum torn like Art Modell.



Three football teams want to move, from San Diego, Oakland and St. Louis. The cities are asked to come up with a plan to try and keep them. Oakland pretends it can’t hear you and does nothing. San Diego, who has been dealing with this for 14 years, says they have an idea, but won’t clarify what it is. St. Louis immediately goes into action and draws up a plan for a reasonable stadium that will revitalize the northern riverfront and financing is put into place. The land is acquired and ground will be broken as soon as the league commits to the city.

Time passes....

Oakland continues to play with its dick and ignore the situation. San Diego plans a vote for well after the relocation issue will be already voted on itself, to maybe get the money to start thinking about doing something. St. Louis is told their stadium plan will actually be 100 million more than they thought and they need to come up with that money too. So they say, ‘Sure, no problem. If you can loan us that money up front, we’ll raise the tourist tax a little and pay you back with that revenue’ and amends the stadium plan to reflect that.

The NFL throws a fit about STL counting on an extra 100 million for a stadium even though they’re going to get paid back and makes sure to send a press release chastising the city for actually trying to keep its team.


The owner of the Rams in the relocation papers says St. Louis is a failing city based largely on its placement on some growth index from some study and anyone who puts a team here would be doomed to financial ruin. So he’s going to move the team to Inglewood which actually RANKED LOWER THAN US ON THAT SAME FUCKING LIST. He also whines we don’t support the team that didn’t have a winning record in a decade and had the worst five year stretch in the history of the whole fucking league. (15-65)

So...come vote day.

Despite having a set stadium plan and a way to finance it in place, St. Louis loses its team. The San Diego owner has one year to decide if he wants to move into the Inglewood stadium with the Rams. But since that city vote is in June, there’s still a chance they get to keep their team even though they don’t actively have a stadium plan after 14 FUCKING YEARS. And Oakland, which has done not one goddamn thing to keep the Raiders, still has a team. For now at least. They play in a stadium where sometimes raw sewage backs up onto the field during heavy rains. Gotta take care of a city that lets that happen.

Oh and the best part? That extra 100 million that the NFL threw a fit about us counting on? That we were going to pay back? It’s been offered to both San Diego and Oakland if they build new stadiums in their current cities. Free of charge. It’s a gift!

I don’t think a city has ever been fucked this bad by a sports league ever. I don’t even know what second place would be. So you know what? I hope Stan Kroenke gets paralyzed from the neck down and once a day for the rest of his life someone rubs a cheese grater across a random part of his face. But at least make a small concession and have said cheese grater be made of solid gold. Dude’s rich. He’ll like that. Also the occasional teabag would be nice too. And that goes for anyone else that was a part of this. There’s no hell bad enough for that level of greed. Sorry this isn’t very funny.



Dear Dean Spanos,

Congrats you finally destroyed one the most beloved teams of San Diego. You let all the die hard fans like me down and you deserve to resign. Nobody wants to cheer for a franchise owned by a greedy piece of shit like you.



I understand why moving a team to Los Angeles makes sense. I understand why the Rams would be targeted as the team is a former resident of the city. I understand that moving a team from a desolate and dying city and placing it in the collection of 30 cities that is called “Los Angeles” that boasts the 2nd largest market is good business.

But Stan Kroenke is a dickless greed pig.


Look Kroenke, St. Louis has its issues. You guys at Deadspin gleefully point them out, but so much of his data was just bullshit intending to paint St. Louis in the worst possible light that you’d think this was fucking ISIS-controlled territory. I fucking LOVE St. Louis. This city has a ton of issues, but it’s got a great local music scene and cool shit always going on around town.

The worst part is, and this is no surprise to me is how stupidly unnecessary it was. His plan for Inglewood is fucking awesome. Hell, if I were an owner, I’d sign off on it and that’s what won the day. Despite this, this insecure motherfucker doesn’t have faith in his own plan, so he trashes a city that he lied to the moment he bought the team.



Do me a favor Stan, go jizz under your toupee in the hopes it sticks to your head a little better in L.A.



Dean Spanos is a cowardly, spineless, incompetent, lying sack of shit. He inherited the team from his dad, then proceeded to run an incompetent, aimless organization for 2 decades. The small window for a championship in that time was closed when he decided to fire a 14-2 coach. He also hired his son John to run all football operations to keep the family tradition of nepotism alive. John couldn’t get hired to edit game film for Bowling Green, but here he is hiring and watching over our shitty GM, and Dean’s other son runs non-football operations.

Dean is too much of a coward to be seen in public or do a real interview. The only interview he did was on Chargers website with a paid team lackey tossing up softballs. He hides behind his scumbag, urinal cake of a lawyer, Mark Fabiani, who also did damage control for Lance Armstrong and the Clintons. Spanos claims to have been trying to get a stadium done in San Diego for 15 years, but has not made one financing proposal. Meanwhile, San Diego proposed a deal offering $350 million in public money without raising taxes and only requiring simple majority vote. Spanos and Fabiani wouldn’t even talk to the city about it and fuckboy Roger says it’s not a workable solution.

Spanos is such an incompetent dumbshit that he couldn’t even get leaving town right. He is left with the option of being Kroenke’s lowly tenant, or the slight chance of coming back to the negotiating table in San Diego. The sad part is I would gladly take them back, even if it meant the city getting bent over to provide some more corporate welfare for those crooks. I am dumb. Fuck the NFL. We loyally supported a mostly shitty product for 54 years and now San Diego is being crapped on. Even when the owner was trying his best to alienate us, Chargers still finished middle of the pack in attendance and TV ratings.

Spanos says 25% of their fan base is in LA market. Bullshit. That cesspool does not give 2 shits about the Chargers. Fuck LA. If they move, I hope no one shows up, they suck, and fail miserably. And any San Diegan still supporting that team in LA can go fuck themselves.

Congratulations, Dean. The city you spent your adult life and raised your children in hates your fucking guts more than they have ever hated anyone. You are never welcome back. I hope you have a miserable life, asshole.



Fuck Jeff Fisher, fuck Kevin Demoff, fuck Isaiah Pead, fuck Brian Quick, MEGA FUCK JARED COOK! Those god damn losers. Kroenke should be ceremonially burned at the base of the Arch. I hope Roger Goodell dies scared and alone.



I cried when Junior Seau died, and again during his HOF induction. Now I can’t even be a Chargers fan anymore because they’re moving to motherfucking Los Angeles. We already have a horrible inferiority complex towards Los Angeles - LA is better than SD in almost every way except for traffic and pro football. But now our Hollywood is getting 2 teams they don’t even need, while also stealing ours! Its like Dean Spanos is our dad and LA our big brother, and even though LA only eats cheese pizza, dad gives LA your pepperoni because LA is friends with Jerry motherfucking Jones.

Fuck LA, and fuck Dean Spanos, with a giant, metal, electrified, non-lubed, chargers lightning bolt... by Boltman... while staring at that shit-eating grin.



Stan Kroenke finally publicly unmuted himself today for the first time in 4 years. I would have rather spent an eternity licking clean the floors of the East St. Louis Walmart than listen to him speak.



Fuck off forever, Stan. You took the team I’ve known for almost my whole life away from me and this city, as shitty as it is, and I honestly hope the Rams turn into something worse then the Browns from now until the end of time itself.



Kroenke reminds of Robert Durst for some reason.


Today, as I watched all this shit unfold, I was so god damn sad. My girlfriend broke up with me in November and I had the same feeling watching television today as I had in November. All I wanted to do was cry, drink a fuck ton of booze, and vomit. I did two of the three, but it’s only 1:24 so I guess I may still have a chance to throw up.



I am a 25 years old Rams Fan from Germany. That’s what watching the greatest show on turf does to you as an 11 year old just getting acquainted with football. I’ve never been to St. Louis. I did see the Rams play in London (fuck the patriots...) but I obviously do not have any special relationship with the city of St. Louis except that my favourite football team happens to play there. But still, moving the team – or any team for that matter - just feels so wrong for me.

The whole idea of uprooting a team and moving it, not giving a shit about the fans who have spent years supporting it, stands against anything I believe about sports teams (which is naïve and stupid but you know how it is)! I was happy when I met people from there. If you saw someone with a Rams cap walking around in a German city till today, you knew he was a real fan.

At least St. Louis won’t ruin their city by throwing hundreds of millions of dollars at someone who is able to spend two billion on a stadium in LA! FUCK YOU Kroenke, you just robbed a part of one of my greatest passions and I really don’t know what to do now. My brother is a Browns fan. So maybe that’s the way to go. I’m used to misery and at least their owner isn’t clever enough to get away with robbing people.



I think it is only fitting that whenever I type the name Kroenke into my phone, the predictor on my keyboard thinks “sucks” is the next word I want to say.



Stan was MAKING MONEY with the Rams in St. Louis. I did some math. He could spend over $250 million a year from now until he is 90 years old and only THEN run out of money, assuming he doesn’t make another dime between now and then. That doesn’t account for his wife’s fortune, either. The entire operating budget for the city of St. Louis for one year is $1.1 billion. He could spent almost a quarter of St. Louis’ ENTIRE city budget every year for 22 years and only then go broke. The blatant greed and ridiculous lies and exaggerations he made in order to get his way are unfathomable.



Stan Kroenke – a Walton family billionaire six times over – said in his press conference (stunned that he gave one; he never talked to anyone in St. Louis) that the NFL raised stadium issues with St. Louis in 2002, just seven years after St. Louis spent hundreds of millions to build a stadium (the city is still servicing the debt!) and at a time when the Rams had sold out every home game since moving. It’s an amazing admission – St. Louis built a stadium to the NFL’s liking so it could have a team, and the NFL barely waited for the paint to dry to crap on it. And Kroenke, with Goodell smirking at his side, said the Rams had to move because fans demand “first class stadia” (plural of “stadium”). Actually, fans care about having a “first class team,” not whether the stadium massaging, heated seats. Before the NFL started extorting cities for “first class stadia,” fans packed the concrete cookie-cutters like old Busch, the Vet, etc. when the team gave them a reason. The Rams haven’t made the playoffs since the 2004 season — how is the possible in a league with a cap? As with his other teams, Stan didn’t give a damn about the product on the field.



Stan Kroenke is the kind, longtime neighbor who stepped in to fill the void after your dad died. His calm demeanor and welcoming mustache seemed to ground your upended world. But after marrying your mother, paradise was set ablaze. He never spoke to you again. He hooked your mother on meth, sold your sister into prostitution, and forced you into hard labor. He siphoned off the life-insurance, auctioned your family’s possessions, and trashed your childhood home. Until finally, with nothing left to extract, the parasite freed himself from the host. Driving west into the golden sunset. With your fiance blowing him from the front seat. Your dog tied to the back bumper.



I think the worst part of this is the knowledge that Stan is a Mizzou guy named after pillars of BFIBdom Stan Musial and Enos Slaughter. Missouri is about as provincial of an area as you can find and we all thought he was our guy. He’s in the Missouri sports HOF for fuck’s sake! That’s what makes his scorched earth tactic of blaming St. Louis for relocation worse.



I just moved to San Diego from Baltimore. I’m not a fan of the Chargers, but I held out hope that one day I could see my home team in my new home town. Now I might as well fly back to Baltimore rather than go to whatever fucking megachurch to Goodell they end up building.



To Roger Goodell, I just want to say that I hope you get arrested for some indecent shit.



Kroenke, I hope your stupid mustache gets caught on the door of your private jet and the pilot takes off with you hanging outside by the hairs on your lip. Not saying I hope you die but that might be a sad side effect of my dream.



I swear to God the greatest justice in the world will be the Raiders playing in and winning the first Super Bowl held in Inglewood the same year the Rams and Chargers go a combined 7-25.



Spanos family, take your pathetic team and leave. The faster the better now. You ungrateful bastards. 55 years of San Diego football gone. I curse the day your family bought the team.

I have been a loyal Charger fan. Had season tickets after Coryell retired. Bought the merchandise drank the charger kool-aid. Owned the jerseys, personally know Lance Allworth. Played golf with Drew until you abandoned him. I hope you move and lose the team altogether. Screw you guys and the horses you rode in on.



Dear Kroenke,

I really enjoyed spending the last ten years watching your team shit all over the field, so it was real treat to have you shit in my mouth on the way out the door. Every city would be a baseball town if it had a blistering bucket of horse piss like you in charge. Have fun washing King Roger’s balls in LA and good luck with that caterpillar that keeps humping your upper lip.





I’ve seen people blaming Rams fans for the move because they weren’t showing up at the games. Who are these people that need to show up and enjoy seeing a shitty team, in a shitty stadium, with a head coach who will likely be the losingest in NFL history after next year, and an owner actively trying to move the team? Plus, have you seen this prick’s wig and mustache? Fuck him and the wal-mart brand money he rode in on.



I just want to say thank you to Jimmy Haslam for moving the Browns to Los Angeles and finally putting us out of our miser... Wait, they’re still here? Oh goddamnit. Fuck you, Jimmy Haslam.


Top photo via Getty