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This next one is a go-ahead 456-foot two-run job in the top of the 7th inning, against Rockies reliever Jake McGee. The Padres, lifted by Franchy’s display of titanic power, would go on to score nine runs in the inning and win going away. This poor, bruised baseball disappeared in the idyllic little woodland area beyond Colorado’s centerfield wall, never to return:

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Saturday afternoon Franchy’s Padres beat the absolute hell out of Mets pitcher Jason Vargas, making his not-at-all triumphant return to New York’s starting rotation, to the tune of nine hits, three walks, a triple, two dingers, and nine earned runs in 3.2 terrible, hilarious innings. Franchy’s blow was the deadliest: this towering smash that nearly made the second deck in right field after traveling 459 feet:

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Our guy Franchy is batting just .241 on the season, with a wretched .281 on-base percentage. He strikes out a ton. But he’s just 23 years old—according to my reading of baseball’s irritating definition of a rookie, this is his rookie season—and he swings a mighty bat, and he has sure figured out the mashing part. All hail Franchy.