Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

All Hail Kobe... Except for Shaq

I am interrupting your precious Friday night to bring you some breaking news (if you're reading this on your blackberry's rss prepared to not get laid... again). Kobe Bean Bryant has been declared the Most Valuable Player of the National Basketball Association for the first time in his all-encompassing 12-year career. Marvin Harrison was interviewed as part of the investigation

The career Laker edged out New Orleans' Chris Paul and Boston's Kevin Garnett for the leagure's highest honor. LeBron James might have factored into the decision, but voters deemed his bitchy behavior as unbecoming of an MVP candidate. I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I'm still a bit upset.


I hate to spoil it for all the readers in Houston watching on tape delay, but the Jazz will be the team facing Kobe's Lakers in the second round. The Rockets put up a good fight, but then they got the shit kicked out of it. Come to think of it, their fight left something to be desired. Let's try not to blame Tracy for this, he has enough on his plate.

Fucking Luis Scola, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

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