You can just imagine the athletes in the Olympic Village now, can’t you?

“Hello, fellow Olympic athlete. I think you’re very attractive.”

“Delightful, you are also attractive to me, and here we are establishing a connection that is both physical and based on our common bond as Olympians.”

“Would you like to have some of that Olympic Village sex that everyone talks about?”

“Sure do!”

“Wait, we can’t. The bed will break.”

“That’s right. Also, these condoms are supposed to go back with us to our home countries, to raise awareness. It would be wrong of us to use one for sex here.”


“Yeah, and we definitely can’t have sex without a bed.”

“Oh well, it was a good idea.”

“Yeah, see you in four years, maybe!”

No, they’re going to fuck.