The Argentine Football Association, the country’s governing body of soccer, held on Tuesday a course for players, coaches, executives, and reporters heading to Russia for next month’s World Cup. The course, taught by Russian language teacher, Eduardo Pennisi, included a manual, “Russian Language and Culture,” written by Pennisi and approved by the AFA. It included a somewhat less-than-crucial chapter on how to smooch Russian ladies.
The AFA appears to have realized right away that it fucked up. The course was interrupted so officials could seize the manuals, and they ripped out the PUA chapter before giving it back to attendees. But one journalist, Nacho Catullo, realized what was happening and snagged an unaltered copy, and published the chapter.
Here’s a translation by our own Tim Burke:
WHAT DO DO TO HAVE A CHANCE WITH A RUSSIAN GIRL
1. Russian girls like any other girls pay close attention if you’re clean, you smell good and if you go well-dressed. The first impression is very important, they pay attention to your image.
2. Russian girls do not like to feel like objects. Many men, because the Russian women are beautiful, only want to take them to bed. Maybe they want it too, but they are people who want to feel important and unique. The advice is to treat the women who is in front of you with their own ideas and wishes. Pay attention to their values and personality. Don’t ask stupid questions about sex. For the Russians, sex is very private and not a topic to discuss in public. (Maybe you do not believe me, but I know that it is.)
3. Russian girls hate boring men. If you do not have topics to talk about, if you’re just thinking about what to say after, then you are not enjoying the moment as you will be disconnected from it. Remember, you are an immigrant/foreigner and you can speak to her about your country, how you live, or the interesting things that you can see in your country. Remember that it is very important to invite her to participate with your topics. Try to talk with her in a very honest way.
4. Don’t be negative.
The women avoid people that only see the negative things, in the work, in relationships, in life.
5. Do not ask the typical questions, be original, usually they like to know about you, so give them some information about you. Remember many of the girls will not know about your country, so you have an advantage over Russian men, you are new and different. Give her confidence in you.
6. Russian women like the men that take the initiative, if you do not have confidence in the same, then you will need to practice talking with more women.
7. Normally they do not like you to have a monopoly on the conversation. I see that problem in men who are very selfish or sometimes with men who get nervous talking to a pretty girl. In both cases it is necessary that you change your attitude, but for nervous guys, relax, it is only a girl, nothing more.
8. Do not try to impress the girl in the wrong way. Maybe you try to impress her by talking about the money you have, that you know everything, that you are perfect and the others are poor stupid people. In the end, if the girl has a little sense, she will bounce you. Be real and talk about you in real terms, talk about your faults in a fun way and about your positive points.
Normally Russian women pay attention to important things, but of course you will find girls who only pay attention to material things, in the money, if you are handsome, you tell me. Do not worry, there are many beautiful women in Russia and not all are good for you. Be selective.
I feel like I know exactly as much about Russian women as I did before. But I feel like I now know plenty about the men running the AFA.
The AFA put out a statement apologizing for the manual, and promised to investigate how it got printed in the first place.