Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Arian Foster Has Some Valid Points About Fighting Wolves

Photo Credits: Bob Levey/Getty and Matt Cardy/Getty

Arian Foster has spent three hours (and counting!) of this pleasant Sunday afternoon on Twitter, detailing his ability to successfully fight a wolf in a one-on-one match. As one does:


For anyone who might respond, you don’t want to fight a wolf, idiot, he had some rebuttals ready to go. Have you considered, for instance, that wolves are illiterate?

And speaking of opposable thumbs:


Not to mention the fact that Arian Foster has established himself as one of the human race’s prime physical specimens, while he could be fighting any schlub of a wolf picked out of the forest at random. Also, yeah, those thumbs:


Foster also wants us to consider the fact that our fear of wolves might be a little overblown, given the fact that we’re fed one-dimensional stories featuring wolves exclusively as villains from early childhood on. Good point! The International Wolf Center uses its extensive FAQ to note that we should not be particularly scared of wolves. (A few sentences before “...wolves are perfectly capable of killing people,” but I digress.)


Not all of his points are quite so reasoned; for one, a wolf can absolutely still go after your neck despite a lack of formal biology education:


But, regardless, there are still important takeaways here worth considering: believe in yourself, and never forget that opposable thumbs are cool as hell.  

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