Armor-Clad Waterskiing Samurai Declares War On Stupid Fish

The silver carp has rapidly become the official fish of Deadspin. (Take that, sunfish fanboys.) They've endeared themselves to us by leaping from the water at the sound of a motor, leading them to beach themselves by the dozen or smack a lady in the face.

But as a highly invasive species, they must die. Two patriots from Peoria are taking our waters back from the Asian menace, one slice at a time.