At Least One Jew Went On To Become A Video Game Superhero

There might be a perfectly reasonable explanation behind my false sense of superiority. I blame today's retro video game pick, Solomon's Key. You see, every five levels or so were grouped together by a sign of the Zodiac. It started with Aries and moved forward. Aquarius, my birth mascot, was one of the last series of levels to play in this puzzle game. It's just a dude with a bucket of water. In retrospect, I had nothing to brag about. But it's a valid reason on which to blame the shortcomings of myself and of what's on TV today. Hope you like softball and lacrosse!

• 12 p.m. — NCAA softball: Virginia Tech at Michigan. Just like baseball, only the thing they use to pitch is softer, and more absorbent. [ESPN]

• 12 p.m. — NCAA lacrosse: Syracuse at Virginia. In lacrosse terms, Syracuse is one of those overlooked West coast teams. [ESPN2]

• 1 p.m. — Movie: Groundhog Day. The one time a Turner-owned station decides not to play a movie more than once in a row, and it happens to be this one. [TBS]

• 2 p.m. — NCAA softball, Super regional. Windmill punch > roundhouse. [ESPN]

• 2 p.m. — NCAA lacrosse: Duke vs. Johns Hopkins. The winning players will become CEOs. The losing players will be relegated to COOs. [ESPN2]

• 3 p.m. — Golf: PGA Crowne Plaza Invitational, Fort Worth, Texas. A tradition unlike 24½ others. [CBS]

• 3 p.m. — Golf: Champions Tour Senior PGA Championship, third round, Rochester, N.Y. They will also resume the end of any second day rounds which were suspended due to robot attacks. [NBC]

• 3:30 p.m. — WNBA: Seattle Storm at San Antonio Silver Stars. Sufferin' succotash. [ABC]

• 3:30 p.m. — MLB: Coverage Table. It's refreshing to see they're picking the Rockies as one of the games of the week, based solely on their World Series appearance and in no way being that they're playing the Mets. [FOX]

• 4:30 p.m. — NCAA softball. You will get your fill of Taryne Mowatt and like it. [ESPN]