Baseball Page 1183 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

OK, What The Hell Is Up With Bud Selig's Hair?

Well hello there, who is that sexy septuagenarian—why, it's the commissioner of baseball, Allan H. "Bud" Selig!...

Melky Cabrera Is A Toronto Blue Jay, And No One Knows What Will Happen Next

How are we supposed to think about the reported two-year, $16 million contract the Toronto Blue Jays just gave 28-year-old Melky Cabrera, the Yankee-turned-Brave-turned-Royal-turned-Giant, the prospect-turned-fatass-turned-presumptive-batting-champion-turned-disgrace-turned-webmaster-turned-martyr-t...

Chipper Jones Has His Own Theories On JFK's Assassination

The recently retired Chipper Jones is an entertaining force on Twitter. Wednesday night, while watching Oliver Stone's JFK on Reelz (really, Chipper? Reelz?), Chipper decided to get the truth out about what really happened in the assassination of JFK. Wake the people up, Chipper!...

The Weirdest And Worst Ballots Of MLB Awards Voting

Just because voting is subjective does not mean voters can't be wrong. So, with the knowledge that no ballot will make everyone happy, and with sincere appreciation for the BBWAA making all ballots public, let's hand out some awards to the most mystifying, inexplicable, and just downright terrible M...

Mitch Albom Is The Meat In Baseball's Dumbfuck Stew

I'm gonna preface all this by telling you that I don't really watch baseball, nor do I particularly care who won the AL MVP award. But the beauty of reading a terrible Mitch Albom column is that you don't HAVE to know much about anything, because Mitch will always deliberately know less than you. Mi...

The Baseball Writers' New VP Pulled The Ol' Switcheroo With His American League MVP Vote [UPDATE]

On September 30, LaVelle E. Neal III, the Twins beat writer for the Minneapolis Star Tribune, wrote an impassioned summation of why Angels super-rookie Mike Trout should be considered the clear favorite for American League MVP. It's short, but it's actually a good, quick defense against the old-scho...

Eat It, Nerds: Miguel Cabrera Won The American League MVP, And It Wasn't Even Close

Miguel Cabrera, the Detroit Tigers' big third baseman, hit for the triple crown—.330 batting average, 44 home runs, 139 RBI—in 2012. His triple crown was baseball's first since Carl Yastrzemski's in 1967. Impressive! But it probably wasn't the league's best offensive season, and it assuredly wasn't ...

The Red Sox Will Use All That Uncommitted Money Burning A Hole In Their Pocket

Remember when the Red Sox traded Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford, Adrian Gonzalez and Nick Punto (ha, Nick Punto) to the Dodgers for some prospects, James Loney and salary relief? A quarter-billion dollars worth of salary relief? Look at all that spendable money floating around. Right now, $45 million ...

Mark Buehrle's Pit Bull Is Illegal In Toronto

Alex Anthopoulos thought he hit paydirt, ripping off the miserable Miami Marlins for most of their good players in Jeffrey Loria's latest fire sale. This sabermetric-darling GM, however, is about to learn that the stats can't tell you everything you need to know about a player—e.g. whether that pla...

Inveterate Asshole And Loria Stepson David Samson Tries To Justify The Marlins Trade

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: This is the guy who called Miamians stupid for funding the stadium....

Giancarlo Stanton Is A Master Of Mashing Taters And Wordplay

Giancarlo Stanton, the only good player left on the now decimated Miami Marlins roster, was not happy about his team trading away all of its good players. As we told you last night, he expressed his displeasure on Twitter:...

The Miami Marlins Are A Hilarious Disgrace

Here is what has happened in the last year of the Miami Marlins, formerly d/b/a Florida Marlins: They swindled the citizens of Miami for a new stadium and drew the SEC's notice. They filched Jose Reyes from a franchise that has actual fans but no money and a municipal government that refuses to be ...

The Marlins Are Reportedly On The Verge Of Basically Trading Away Their Whole Team [UPDATE]

The MLB hot fucking stove is heating up early this year, folks! Check this shit out....

Robinson Cano Is Now An American Citizen

Cano, who split his childhood between baseball hotbed San Pedro de Macorís and Newark, N.J., made it official today, getting sworn in as a naturalized U.S. citizen. As is customary for all new Americans, Cano received his certificate, flag, and David Ortiz beard....

A Pirates Scout Has Quit Working For The Pirates Because The Pirates Suck

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review refers to Mike Leuzinger as "a superscout." He had been the Pirates' area supervisor for North Texas and Oklahoma since 2004, and last year, he brought in Josh Bell, a top-flight outfield prospect the team had acquired by dangling a $5 million signing bonus. Before join...

At Long Last, John Olerud Claims Victory Over The Tree In His Neighbor's Yard

September brought grave news that, until just now, had occupied most of our attention, kept us awake at night, asleep during the day, and our entire lives turned upside down. John Olerud, proud owner of a beautiful piece of land with pristine views just outside Seattle, had a problem. From our origi...

Mark McGwire Has No Idea "Why Anybody Would Even Think About" Using PEDs Today

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Mac says MLB's got the problem under control....

What We Learned From Joe Buck's Deadspin Chat

Joe Buck came by today for a lively and entertaining chat. After deciphering his Joycean prose style, here's what we learned about Joe:...

With U.S. Cellular dumping the Midwest, new Comiskey may need a new name. What could the Cubs get to whore out Wrigley?...

MLB Hot Stove Apathy: The Real Secret Variable That (Almost) Predicted The Presidential Election

The "Redskins Rule" failed to pick the winner for second time in three presidential races, so it looks like everyone will have to pick a new random sports thing as their favorite election-prediction oracle. Instead of just choosing some random team's game, we decided to go to the sports site that re...