Baseball Page 1209 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Better Know An Umpire: Jeff Nelson
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
The Rays Need To Upgrade Their Bullpen Phone Plan
Joe Maddon had some instructions for his bullpen, but the landline call at Marlins Park just wouldn't go through. He couldn't use a carrier pigeon, and he couldn't send a telegram, so Maddon improvised as best he could: He dispatched infielder Will Rhymes to deliver the message. The human element be...
Twins Fans Grasp Coprophilia-Based Humor Better Than Any Other MLB Fanbase
Francisco Liriano fell to 1-7 on the season as the Cubs rocked the Twins in Minneapolis Sunday. While some Minnesota fans think the team as a whole is playing like shit, insiders point to the crappy performance by several players—Liriano and fellow pitcher Carl Pavano among them. Don't count the Tw...
Indians Closer Chris Perez Celebrated Earning His 20th Save By Projectile Vomiting All Over The Mound
Indians closer Chris Perez has been lights-out this season, and handcuffed St. Louis today in locking up a 4-1 Cleveland win. He did this, it seems, while suffering some degree of gastrointestinal distress—though given that he's done this before, maybe it's some kind of gross calling card....
Royals Teammate Was Probably Just Trying To Tell Bruce Chen He Had Something In His Eyes
During the Kansas City Royals 5-3 loss to the Pirates on Saturday Bruce Chen, who, interestingly enough, happens to be of Chinese descent, was doing a silly little in-game interview in anticipation of his big time face-off with the Pirates and A.J. Burnett. Then Humberto Quintero, the Royals catche...
Defendants Accused Of Beating Bryan Stow Admit Being Involved In Altercation On Secret Jailhouse Recording
Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge George Lomeli has determined that the two men accused of beating Bryan Stow into a coma, Louie Sanchez and Marvin Norwood, will have to stand trial for those accusations. In making his decision Judge Lomeli relied heavily on a secret recording from a cell as ...
Kevin Millwood (And Five Other Guys) No-Hit The Dodgers
The Mariners appear to be slowly coming around to this whole "offensive" part of baseball. They just abused the Rangers to the tune of 31 runs in two games about a week and a half ago and they are just above league average in runs scored. The boys in dark cyan still have some work to do, though—the...
Wearing A Fish Bib And Singing An Italian Song Did Not Give Tommy Lasorda Or Lou Piniella A Heart Attack, TMZ Says
This was the scene Sunday evening at Bamonte's, an Italian restaurant in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn that's been open since 1900. Bamonte's is a wonderfully old-school red-sauce joint—try the stuffed peppers appetizer and the eggplant rollatini—and it's not uncommon there for a couple of ol...
The A's Are Hopeless And Heartless
The Athletics are bad. They are last in the league in hits, total bases, RBIs, batting average, slugging percentage, and OBP. (Semi-silver lining: they have grounded into the fewest double plays, but only because no one's ever on base.) They're not mathematically eliminated just yet, but man, if eve...
Derek Lowe Lets Everybody Know He's Done For The Day By Slamming A Cooler Full Of Ice
After he gave up seven earned runs on nine hits in five innings against the Tigers this afternoon, Derek Lowe was probably going get lifted by Indians manager Manny Acta. The Cleveland broadcast crew noticed that someone—Scott Barnes?—had begun warming up in the bullpen, but they didn't know for sur...
The Mets Are Shamelessly Selling Commemorative Tickets To Johan Santana's No-Hitter For $50 Each
You see those tickets up there? They're from old Shea Stadium in 1969, the Amazin' Mets. Five bucks bought you a loge seat for the NLCS, and ten bucks bought you one for the World Series. That's a good price. The loge had a nice view. I would have enjoyed seeing the Miracle Mets' miracles from there...
Curt Schilling's 38 Studios Files For Bankruptcy, Faces Federal Investigation
We presume this is how 38 Studios' lawyers opened their conversation with Curt Schilling: "What do you want first? The bad news, or the worse news?"...
Watch Mark Reynolds Strike Out 100 Times In Two Minutes
Last week, Baltimore Orioles first baseman/third baseman/designated hitter Mark Reynolds broke the record for fastest player to 1,000 career strikeouts. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, the record had belonged to Russell Branyan. But Branyan didn't get to set the record until 2010, when he w...
There's A Naughtily Named Pitching Matchup In The National League Today
Check it out: Petco Park this afternoon will host a hilarious sadomasochistic pitching showdown between Marquis and Cain! Thwack! You've been very naughty! Double entendres in baseball can't get much saucier than that....
Better Know An Umpire: Dan Iassogna
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
The Twins Couldn't Even Give Jeff Manship A Jersey With His Name Spelled Correctly
Poro Jffe Mansihp. Hs'e bene ni teh Minnestoa orginzatoin sinec 2006, adn hs'e boucned bakc adn forht bewteen teh minros adn teh Twisn sinec maknig hsi bgi-leauge deubt ni '09. Hee wsa juts callde upp fro teh firts tiem thsi seasno Mya 27, adn lsat nihgt wsa hsi firts appearacne ni na awya gaem, os ...
Better Know An Umpire: Ted Barrett
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
There Are Two Relievers Who Are Doing Really Absurd Things Right Now
The Cincinnati Reds have played 54 games, officially one-third of their 2012 schedule. And the Angeles de Anaheim have played a few more games than that. We're at a point in the season when peculiarities morph into real, dependable success. That means we have no choice but to pay attention to Aroldi...
Yankees Tickets Are A Dollar, Seats Are Empty, And They're Trying To Blame StubHub
I'm going to tell you something, and then I'm going to ask you a question. The Yankees are having attendance issues. They aren't selling enough tickets, and for the ones that are being sold, they're being undercut by StubHub, which offers them for well below face value. Now the question: do you feel...
Jonathan Papelbon Found Not Guilty Of Thoughtcrime
Pap’s not mad at you, AAA-callup umpire D.J. Reyburn. He’s just disappointed. Disappointed that you’re so bad at your job. You “probably need to go back to triple A.”...