Baseball Page 1241 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Judgment Without Pity
Bartolo Colon, Yankee pitcher and existential protagonist, found himself beset by 14 men last night. Nine of his antagonists were Kansas City Royals hitters-including Billy Butler, who launched a fly ball to somewhere around the top of the outfield fence in the third inning. Four more of his opponen...

Pitcher, Batter Reconcile HBP Over Twitter: "Just Grazed The Schnaz A Little Bit"
This is a beautiful story of modern reconciliation. Last night, Toronto's Brandon Morrow hit Mariner Casper Wells with a pitch. The outfielder was forced to sit out the remainder of the game, which deprived him of the chance to extend his home run streak to five straight games....

This Evening: A Monkey Jumps Out Of The Stands To Thwart Teddy Roosevelt
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 17, the day we received crucial life lessons from Conan the Barbarian. Video via DC Sports Bog. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Who Owns "Evil Empire"? The Yankees Launch A Proxy War For Control
Bridgehampton, N.Y., out on the East End of Long Island, is Red Sox territory. The bars along Main Street are decked out in red and will only show Yankees games if there's nothing else on. TVs receive the Hartford network affiliates. Carl Yastrzemski was born on a nearby potato farm and still holds ...

Torii Hunter Gets Trapped In An Oxygen Chamber, Pisses In a Bottle, Tweets
In need of a little rejuvenation after the Angels' 7-3 loss last night to the Rangers, Torii Hunter entered a clubhouse oxygen chamber, thinking that would do the trick. It's not known what happened next—whether Hunter stayed in the chamber too long and was forgotten about, or whether no one realiz...

Watch The Red Sox Turn A 5-4-3 Triple Play Tonight
Hooray. Because the Red Sox really needed this to reverse the fortunes of their horrible season....

Roger Clemens Handed Out Some Souvenirs At His Trial
It's been a month since a mistrial was declared in Roger Clemens' perjury case, and yet the misconduct just won't end. A group of court security guards are under investigation for accepting signed baseballs from Clemens, which is not a thing that is ok....

The Hidden Message Of This Girl In A Royals Visor Giving A Ball To Some Kid In A Jeter Shirtsey
Here's how MLB captioned the above video, which appears heartwarming and nurturing and fuzzy and cherubic: "Young Royals fan in pigtails gives foul ball to young Yankees fan not in pigtails."...

Don't Worry, Carlos Zambrano: Ozzie Guillen And White Sammy Sosa Have Your Back
CSN Chicago reports that Zambrano—whom the Cubs suspended for 30 days, due to a big ol' meltdown—received text messages of support from Guillen and Sosa....

Logan Morrison Was Demoted Because Wes Helms Is A Super-Secret Double-Agent Mole: A Theory
Marlins outfielder/tweeter Logan Morrison was demoted to AAA New Orleans on Saturday night. It was a weird demotion, because Morrison ranks second in OPS on the team (ahead of first baseman Gaby Sanchez, and any outfielders who might replace him) and because the Marlins are 56-64, burnt toast....

Watch As A Rockies Coach Gets Drilled In The Face While Bobby Valentine Talks
Just your typical pre-game rundown last night on Sunday Night Baseball. Except that, as Bobby Valentine was giving his portion of the preview of Rockies-Cardinals, someone on the field near first base can be seen getting KO'd by a baseball....

BREAKING: Dan Uggla Is Not Joe DiMaggio
Cubs win, Cubs win, and the Braves' second baseman's hitting streak ends at 33. Aw....

Wisely, Ned Colletti Is Already Plotting His Exit Strategy
"Q: You're big on hockey. Any desire to be an NHL GM?...

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The Annihilation Of The Self Into A Greater Cosmos
Veteran pitcher Bartolo Colon resumed his philosophical explorations yesterday afternoon, facing the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Angels! Emissaries of the divine! But Colon met the Halos with yet another stolid performance: 6.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 3 K. One more no-decision, in one more eventual Yankees...

Kyle Davies's Year Goes From Worst To Worster
Kind of a shitty week for Kyle Davies. He went on the disabled list. Wednesday he was cut by the Royals. And now it turns out he was arrested the day before, for disorderly intoxication....

Dodgers Spokesman: Our Usher Was Only Kidding When He Swiped A Foul Ball From A Kid
Remember last night's video of a Dodger Stadium usher swiping a foul ball from a giddy kid at a Dodgers/Phillies game? Yeah, the Dodgers said the usher only swiped a foul ball from a giddy kid temporarily. He was funning with him, you see. The official statement:...

At Last, Video Evidence That Mike Laga Really Did Hit A Foul Ball Out Of The Old Busch Stadium
This is great. On Sept. 15, 1986, Mike Laga, one of those light-hitting Cardinals players whom St. Louis fans are always applauding for moving the runners over, supposedly knocked a foul ball clear out of the old Busch Stadium. Because we have all lost our capacity for wonder, this feat has lately ...

Cubs Consider Getting Rid Of Wrigley's Most Iconic Feature
The ivy is safe. The troughs are endangered. ...

Brewers Pitcher Fiddles With Scissors, Loses
"Narveson was fiddling with his glove with a pair of scissors when the scissors somehow slipped and sliced his left thumb. That would be the thumb on his pitching hand. Eight stitches were needed to close the wound, Brewers manager Ron Roenicke said." [Sporting News]...