Baseball Page 1261 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Playboy Alum From Poland Purchases Soccer Team
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Fond Farewell To The Most Average Man In Baseball
Gil Meche hung up the spikes today, after 10 seasons of complete and absolute mediocrity in the strictest sense of the term. We will miss him....

Proud Cubs Groupie Says Blame Her, Not Bartman
A wannabe reality TV cleat chaser says she was out "drinking and hooking up" with members of the Cubs until 4 a.m. the night before the 2003 NLCS game 7. Why yes, she did go to Arizona State, how'd you guess? [RadarOnline]...

Ryan Howard Makes A Cranberries Reference
Ryan Howard, on his bum ankle: "Those kinds of things linger, like the Cranberries."...

The Way We Live Now: New Cubs Outfielder Responds To Mockery On His Tumblr
Fernando Perez, outfielder and all-around solid guy, isn't happy with this bit of satire from a Cubs blog. "It's so arbitrary and unfunny I'd be offended if I took the 120 seconds out of my work day to read it," Perez...tumbls. [Outfielding]...

Is There Anything Ken Griffey's Rookie Card Can't Do?
The discovery of a rare Griffey card helped Albany police bust some burglars. The man's a national treasure. [WNYT]...

Confusion Over Garza-Benoit Confusion Finally Resolved
So the Chicago Sun-Times wasn't the only paper to mix up Matt Garza and Joaquín Benoit. The Daily Herald made the same mistake. But don't blame the papers. The error originated with a bad cutline from a wire photographer. Asshole....

The Sad Tale Of The Umpire Spat On By Roberto Alomar
Occasionally, we'll select stories - old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime - that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: a portrait of an umpire battling to save his sons from a rare disease....

<em>Chicago Sun-Times</em> Mixes Up Its Latino Baseball Players
The Cubs on Friday traded for Tampa Bay pitcher Matt Garza. Apparently, this confused the Chicago Sun-Times, which slapped a full-page photo on its back cover of...Joaquín Benoit. Both pitchers are right-handed. Both have facial hair. Let's stop there....

Bert Blyleven Got In <em>Because</em> Voters Are Irrational, And Other Hall Of Fame Revelations
This is Regressing, a new, numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective. Today: how a weird tic of Hall of Fame voters helped put Bert Blyleven in Cooperstown....

Gnashing Of Teeth, Rending Of Garments Come To An End With HOF Announcement
Bert Blyleven, Roberto Alomar, and no convicted or suspected steroid users were elected to the Hall of Fame. Cranky sportswriters can return to their caves. [BBWAA]...

Just Vote For Jeff Bagwell, You Hypocrites
Jerod Morris idly wondered if Raul Ibanez might've had a little pharmaceutical help, and everyone went nutso. Damien Cox suggested Jose Bautista's numbers were surprising, and he caught shit. So why is it OK to not vote for Bagwell because of "suspicions?"...

Baltimore Orioles Reliever Wanted For Murder
Though reliever Alfredo Simon went 4-2 with a 4.93 ERA for the Baltimore Orioles last season, the team will probably be looking to replace him in '11....

Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been An Idiot?
The argument here — that we're justified in suspecting Jeff Bagwell of using steroids because he "never uttered a word" or "demand[ed] accountability" about PEDs in baseball — is straight-up HUACtastic bullshit, no chaser....

Oney Guillen Apologizes, But Not Really
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Oney stands behind his Bobby Jenks offensive....

Rafael Palmeiro Is Talking Now That It's Time For Hall Of Fame Voters To Judge His Legacy
He still claims he never took steroids. He sought comfort in the soothing words of President George W. Bush. His wife gave him a vitamin shot by accident. Miguel Tejada gave him a B-12 shot. Chances of HOF?: Zilcho. [SI]...

FIU Baseball Phenom Arrested On Rape Charges In Bahamas
2010 ESPY Award nominee, Garrett Wittels, owner of the second-longest hit streak in college baseball, has been arrested along with several of his friends after some shenanigans with teenage girls apparently took a wrong turn. Messy. [Miami Herald]...

Lenny Dykstra Bounced A Check To An Escort
Read the not-so-sordid story here (and in the comments here are two more women who claim he stiffed them). The real question here is: what kind of escort accepts checks?...

Batshit Hall Of Fame Voter: "I Compare PED Users To Murderers"
And we compare Lowell Cohn to a cymbal-banging monkey toy. I'm beginning to suspect HOF voters really do fancy themselves an elite task force of karacter kops. Drugs make people crazy. A Hall of Fame ballot makes people crazier. [PressDemocrat.com, Business Insider]...

Mets Punch Their Fans In The Dick With Awful Season Ticket Pitch
Couched as fake SNY breaking news about a big acquisition, complete with press conference, you might be disappointed to learn that the Flushing front office's big target is...you....