Baseball Page 1285 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: LeBron James, I Guess
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like "LeBrun" James, who scored many more baskets than the opposing team, so I suppose that makes him the best. If you're into that sort of thing....
Pablo The Panda And The Worst Souvenir Ever
I want you, for a moment, to picture Pablo Sandoval's crotch. Now imagine getting smacked in the face with something that spends all day down there....
Mistaken Bomb Threat Aimed At Yankee Fans
Metro-North Railroad meant to play a recording notifying passengers of train service to Yankee Stadium. They instead played a warning of a bomb threat. Hey, whatever helps explain those empty seats behind home plate. [StationStops via Couchwarmers]...
Apropos Of Nothing, Here's Phillies Vomit Kid Doing Madonna Karaoke
Mean-spirited? Yeah, a little. Only tangentially related to sports? Sure. But fuck it. Here's Matthew Clemmens (stage name: Pukemon) with "Material Girl."...
Absurdly Long Games Are Just The Greatest
The Mets' and Cardinals' 20-inning, 6-hour and 53-minute marathon was the most fascinating game we're likely to see all year. Let's do the post-mortem....
Orioles Combat Flagging Interest By...Turning Down Cal Ripken For A Job?
Your team's terrible. Your attendance is worse. What better way to add a little excitement than bringing your franchise's most beloved figure back under the O's umbrella? That's a rhetorical question, unless you're Peter Angelos....
A Blow-By-Blow Account Of The Vomiting Phillies Fan
In our #tips section, we received a purported firsthand account from someone sitting in the same section as Matthew Clemens, the New Jersey man accused of throwing up on an 11-year-old girl. We reprint it here for your reading pleasure....
More Fun With Baseball Names
It's the All-Jane Austen Team, featuring such fine country gentleman as Chad Billingsley, Micah Hoffpauir, Gordon Beckham III, and one Ryan Benjamin Rowland-Smith. Oh, I do hope the landed gentry aren't too scandalized! [Lookout Landing]...
Last Night's Winner: Not This Guy
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Unlike this Phillies fan, who on Wednesday at Citizens Bank Park allegedly jammed his fingers down his throat and vomited on an 11-year-old girl and her father....
Security Guard Beats Up Fan At Dodgers Game
This video, shot on Opening Day at Dodger Stadium, has it all: some casual racism, a flying chest-kick, the security-guard-on-fan action that everyone loves, and the inevitable Greek chorus yelling, "It's going on YouTube!" [YouTube; earlier]...
Where Are All The Fans? Watching Soccer, Actually
We're barely a week into the season, and already teams are freaking right the fuck out about empty seats. And the numbers sure have been embarrassing....
Wrigley Sign Protesters Were Clueless Craigslist Hires
Protesters against the new outfield sign at Wrigley were out in force at the Cubs home opener. Clearly this is an issue near and dear to fans' hearts. Or maybe it was the $25 bucks they were paid via Craigslist....
Phillies' Season Officially Kicked Off By Lap Dance For The Handicapped
It's a couple days old, but we needed time to come to terms with this video of a man in a Jazzy Scooter getting ridden by one of Philly's, um, Phinest. [via Busted Coverage]...
Dodger Games Slightly Less Violent and Chaotic This Year
Did you know tailgating is illegal in Dodger Stadium parking lots? Neither did the 132 arrested at the home opener yesterday—which is still better than last season when a guy got stabbed. That's progress! [LA Times]...
Jay Bruce Apologizes For Gesture That Offended Precisely No One
Oh, come on. Really? "It's not a laughing matter, obviously. It's one of the more stupid things I had ever done. It was an honest mistake. ... I want to apologize to the fans, my team, ownership, everyone who supports me." [MLB]...
Rays Fans Demand Less Cowbell
The big debate in the Tampa Bay area: could the cowbell fad, still going strong at Rays games, actually be keeping fans away? Or could it be a horrible stadium, stingy management, and lovely weather? Nah, cowbells. [St. Pete Times]...
Has Anyone Seen Bill Murray?
The Cubs had to pull a random family out of the stands to toss out the first pitch, after Bill Murray was a no-show. I'll tell you where he wasn't: filming Ghostbusters 3. Get on it, Bill! [Daily Herald]...
Mysterious Laugher Does Not Sympathize With Chan Ho Park's Stomach Ailments (UPDATE)
Chan Ho Park recently gave his reason for being slightly worse than usual: a bout of diarrhea. This admission (repeated several times) drew gales of laughter (also repeated) from an unseen source. Who is this secret gut-bustee? A Parenthood fan? [ZonerSports.com]...
People At Marlins Games Still Punching Each Other In The Vicinity Of Video Cameras
While lacking the sweep and drama of last year's brawl, this Paul Greengrass-ian fight from Saturday's Dodgers-Marlins game had the virtue of being sparked by inebriated legume tossers. Topic: Hasn't the use of Steam's classic jam become stale? H/T David....
Lou Piniella Bawls Out With His Balls Out
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....