Baseball Page 1286 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Stupidest Catch
Rumor has it that the new Yankee Stadium will have suction tubes that will suck errant fans into the bowels of the stadium, like when Luke fell off the catwalk in Empire Strikes Back. Nets are so low-tech. Joseph Carullo, 54, was reaching for a foul ball on Tuesday night during the seventh inning o...
CC Sabathia Supports Print Media
That's quite an ad taken out by CC Sabathia in today's Cleveland Plain Dealer, thanking Clevelandities "for 10 great years," for their love and support, etc., etc. Also I think there are some movie reviews in there, and today's Dilbert (newspaper space is at a premium these days). From Cleveland.com...
The AL East Race Just Became A Lot More Appetizing
Imagine the Yankees or the Red Sox as World Series champions. Meh ... it's been done. Now imagine the Rays with the trophy, and along with it, the promise of free pizza for everyone in the world. Yes, Lakewood, Colo., pizzeria owner John Keiley is at it again; promising free pizza to the masses if t...
Jeff Kent: A Good Jerk Is Hard To Find
The Manny Ramirez rumors and, you know, the earthquake are the top news in LA right now, but there's also an interesting article by the T.J. Simers in today's LA Times about Dodgers Dangle-stached second baseman Jeff Kent. The headline is "Appreciate Jeff Kent While You Still Can", which while overl...
Heidi Watney's Rear Under Close Security Surveillance At All Times
Never let it be said that Fenway Park security is not doing their job. Take this guy, for instance, who is keeping close watch on the backside of NESN-TV reporter Heidi Watney; in case, you know, terrorists try to move in. Or whatever. Actually, when you examine the people in the stands, he isn't th...
Brad Ziegler's Goofy-Assed Delivery Unhittable So Far
Finally, there's hope for Barry Zito. First, you need to sustain a couple of concussions ... look, it's complicated. But the upshot is that you change to a sidearm delivery. Then you, like the Oakland Athletics' Brad Ziegler, might one day break the major league record for consecutive scoreless inni...
Manny To The Mets? What?
With John Maine headed for a shoulder MRI, it would seem that the Mets have bigger problems; but at any rate, Manny Ramirez seems to be back on the table. Despite Monday's denials, both the Mets and Red Sox are admitting today that they've been in touch. Suddenly Manny as a Met is a real possibility...
The Cubs-White Sox Feud Comes To Sesame Street
So it's three more Cubs fans in the hoosegow, another White Sox fan in the hospital, and life goes on in this strange, strange land we call "Illinois." When will the senseless violence end? My deepest regret is that Ernie and Bert had to see this. From the Chicago Tribune: ...
Todd Jones Might Be Menopausal
The Detroit Tigers, in a desperate attempt to stay competitive in the American League Central, decided that struggling closer Todd Jones needed to be replaced. Jones has surrendered 10 runs in his last 10 1/3 innings and was finally getting hit around the way you'd expect the 40-year-old finesse pit...
Ken Griffey, Jr. Tosses Throat Slash To Jeff Brantley
We've officially seen everything now. Griffey was evidently upset by comments Reds announcer Jeff Brantley made regarding his contract. Why after twenty years of relative peace, Griffey is breaking out late 90's football moves to make his points is anyone's guess. I guess he could do the Icky Shuff...
Yankees Will Not Rest Until They Have All Molinas
The Yankees aren't desperate enough to sign Barry Bonds — at least not yet — but they may have their goggles set on cornering the market on Molinas. With the trade deadline looming and missing sluggers Hideki Matsui and Jorge Posada, the Yankees are reportedly interested in acquiring Giants' catcher...
Fred Wilpon Learns From His Mistakes. Kind Of.
Mets owner Fred Wilpon finally realizes that the early morning firing of Willie Randolph could have been handled better. The long-time Mets' executive told SNY that he "screwed up" and, should a situation like that arise again, the next managerial shit-canning will be done before press deadline. ...
It's Just Melky Being Manny, I Suppose
I'm just glad that George Steinbrenner didn't live to see this. Apparently there's a tradition at Yankee Stadium where a group of fans called the Bleacher Creatures chant out each player's name in the first inning. The player usually acknowledges this; but not during a play. Oh, Melky Cabrera. You c...
There May Be An A-Rod/Madonna Sex Tape. Is There No End To Our Suffering?
A New York man is claiming that he has a Madonna-Alex Rodriguez sex tape, and wants a million pounds for it. Of course, fundraisers are being organized furiously at this moment to pay the guy to burn all copies. Even Queen Elizabeth is chipping in with a few random palace jewels. Give till it hurts,...
This Could Be Your Chance To Pitch For The Royals
The young man you see here delivering a 79 mph fastball is Royals shortstop Tony Pena Jr., and I don't mean to mock, because he's certainly a better pitcher than me. Or Barry Zito. But what's he doing on the mound in a regulation game? The answer can be found in this morning's Kansas City Star, with...
Alex Rodriguez Is A Fragile Little Dominican Butterfly, Friends Say
It's been pretty easy to destroy Alex Rodriguez about his pending divorce, given all the attention that's been paid toward his alleged frequent affairs with numerous muscular women and, perhaps, Madonna....
Pirates' Pitcher Gets Erotic Massage, But Rockies Get The Happy Ending
One might say that the Pirates tried everything to make rookie Yoslan Herrera feel comfortable on the mound on Saturday in his debut against the Rockies. Some days, nothing works. Of course, this could simply be Bud Selig's random cup check policy we've been hearing about....
The New York Mets Cannot Be Stopped By Man Nor Beast
One month ago, the Mets were 6 1/2 games out of first, had just fired their manager, and were the brunt of jokes by Yankees fans. Yankees fans were mocking them. Well, who's laughing now? David Wright hit a two-run homer in the ninth to tie it, and New York went on to a 10-8 win at Cincinnati to ext...
Maple Bats: Wooden Death Clubs Of Chaos
The Florida Sun-Sentinel (via SBB) has an amusing slideshow of broken bats whizzing into the stands, featuring unsuspecting victims, bloody fans, and plenty of men making terrified faces as the splintered swords come hurling at them....
Uggla Implodes, Big Papi's Madonna Hi-Jinx, and Bud Selig Loves Him Some Sarah Jessica Parker
What they're saying out there about Tuesday's All-Star Game ......