Baseball Page 1286 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Loneliness, Thy Name Is Pirates Fandom
Reader Chris sends along this picture of The Omega Man of Pirates fans. Why stay in the second row? Does PNC Park employ totalitarian ushers? Is he afraid of looking the fool should a foul ball approach? Fascinating to ponder....

Yankees Logo On Boston Landmark? Well...
It certainly looked like the interlocking NY was writ large on the side of the Prudential Center last night....

Chiefs Without Briefs
Thanks to Christoph and Andrew for sending in this photo evidence that crack kills. I can't believe there are two of you watching the Royals game....

Sausage Race Nearly Ends In Vehicular Manslaughter
Milwaukee's annual Opening Day Beef Tube Relay Race took a hilarious, nearly tragic turn when the Italian sausage was almost run over by its police escort. When did Randall Simon become a cop? [Last Angry Fan; video via]...

The Apotheosis Of Jason Heyward
This is Jason Heyward. He is 6'9", and 385 pounds of pure muscle. His middle name is "Adenolith." Shards of his bat can cure cancer. And he will save baseball. Definitely one, maybe two of these things are actually true....

Giants' Giant Coke Bottle Is A Death Trap
Yet another person is suing the Giants and Coca-Cola after being injured on the slide in the outfield. Let's take a ride through the belly of the beast....

Vandy Pitcher Takes Liner Off Knee, Still Gets The Assist
Corey Williams, a redshirt freshman at Vanderbilt, had his knee obliterated by a hot shot up the middle and still recorded the 1-3 putout. I hope the next mound he pitches on has a ramp though....

Baseball Will Save Us Now: Opening Day, Opening Thread (Video Updates)
Today should be a national holiday, but most American workers are left attempting to follow the Real Opening Day from their sad, sad cubicles. Commiserate with your fellow wage slaves here. Afternoon baseball schedule below. (Update: Heyward/Buerhle highlights.)...

Joe DiMaggio Was A Wuss, And Other Things We Don't Tell Our Kids
Slate compares children's books about ballplayers ("Like many ballplayers, Joe enlisted to fight for his country in 1942") to the biographies written for adults ("[W]hen he concluded that he'd have to enlist … he started to cry"). [Slate]...

Welcome To Baseball Season!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Everybody Aboard The Royals Express
Now you can own the bus that spent the last 20 years shuttling literally tens of Royals fans to Kauffman Stadium. They've steam-cleaned the interior, but they can't quite get rid of the smell of failure. [eBay]...

Kansas City Royals: Small-Town Dreams, Small-Town Problems
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Kansas City Royals....

On The Block: Thurman Munson's Pilot License
Okay, forget Thomas Hearns's baby spoon; this might be the saddest auction item out there....

Philadelphia Phillies: 10,000 Losses
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Philadelphia Phillies....

PETA Capitalizes On Clemens's Failure To Launch
PETA suggests that Roger Clemens's rumored performance issues are due to his carnivorous diet. Wonder if the grand jury will buy that one. [PETA via copyranter]...

Bernie Carbo Was Stoned Out Of His Gourd, All The Frickin' Time
The pinch-hit hero has found God, so he's coming clean about his playing career. Spoiler alert: it involved lots and lots of drugs....

Denard Span Smacks His Own Mother! (With A Foul Ball)
A woman wearing a Denard Span jersey is plunked by a line drive off the bat of Denard Span. What kind of person wears a Denard Span jersey to a spring training game? Yep, it was his mom. [LoHud]...

Baltimore Orioles: The Stacked Deck
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Baltimore Orioles....

Even The Washington Nationals' Ticket Website Knows They're Crap
Those plucky Washington Nationals are poised to surprise the National League East this year so buy your tickets now...right after you type "democratic diarrhea" into the box below. [WashingtonNationals] (H/T Reader Alex W.)...

New York Mets: The Undulating Curve Of Shifting Expectations
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The New York Mets....