Baseball Page 1288 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Barry Bonds Keeping In Game Shape With Diet, Contempt For Public
Surprisingly, Dodgers fans were able to get between Bonds and his chicken and waffles, and still escape with their lives. One autograph hound, though, managed to touch a sore spot....
Not-Completely-Sober Freddy Garcia Has Some (Profane) Words For The Cubs
We're not saying Freddy Garcia is drunk in this video, taken at the White Sox' annual SoxFest. We're just pointing out he's unsteady on his feet, slurring his words, and saying "fuck the Cubs, motherfucker."...
MLBPA's Charity Block Will Cost Players In The Long Run
The players' union has struck down the "Manny Ramirez provision," which allowed teams to force players to donate to charity as part of their contracts. But it looks like the MLBPA might've hurt their own guys on this one....
Last Night's Winner: Minnesotans
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Twins fans who locked up their franchise catcher for the next decade. It's not official, but what could possibly go wrong in the final seconds?...
And On The Fourth Day, Bryce Harper Homered
Here's the Chosen One, taking some weak Arizona Western stuff deep in his fourth game as a collegian. Watch closely and you might see the ball transmute into pure light somewhere over Lake Mead. [YouTube, Las Vegas Review-Journal]...
The Holy Child Will Have To Wait A Little Longer To Begin Speaking Only In Cliches
Brilliant beacon of blinding light Bryce Harper picked up his first collegiate hit in only his second at-bat. Too bad no-one is allowed to discuss it! I haven't seen lips this tight since, like, an hour ago. [The Nationals Enquirer]...
We Will All Work For Mario Lemieux One Day
Steel City patron saint Mario Lemieux and shady creepster Ron Burkle, co-owners of the Pittsburgh Penguins, approached the Pittsburgh Pirates with an "unsolicited offer" to buy the MLB team, according to the Post-Gazette. Yinzers, cross your fingers....
Robbie Alomar's Canadian Consolation
Forget Cooperstown; Alomar's heading to the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame! To give you a sense of its prestige, his co-inductee will be Paul Quantrill. [Globe And Mail]...
Randy Winn The Final Straw For Aggrieved Yankee Fan
The signing of Randy Winn instead of Johnny Damon has convinced one season ticket holder not to renew. I agree. A lineup of only eight 8-figure salaried all-stars just doesn't show enough of a commitment to winning....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...
It's The Feud With A Combined ERA Over 5.00
Would a player intentionally suck to become a part of history? The pitcher who let Barry Bonds set the HR mark says no; his teammate says yes. Join us this week, on As The Nationals Turn....
Marlins Find Hope In Long-Cancelled Star Trek Ripoff
In a 1993 episode of the surprisingly well-remembered show Seaquest DSV, Jonathan Brandis's character wears a Marlins 2010 World Champions jersey. Also, it predicted that talking dolphin would be sponsored by Sun Life. [Wezen-Ball]...
Mets Employee Steals From Team; Surprisingly Not An Omar Signing
A Shea Stadium security guard, supposed to be looking out for looters, helped himself to pretty much anything not nailed down. Except Luis Castillo. The Mets can't pay people to take him. [NYDN]...
Surprise Surprise, The Hall Of Fame Gets It Wrong
Despite his very public preference to go in as a Cub, Andre Dawson's HOF plaque will see him wearing an Expos cap. This is all Wade Boggs's fault. (Really.)...
Prospect Leaves A's To Become Padre, Hopefully An Angel
Grant Desme, one of Oakland's top prospects, is quitting baseball to join the priesthood. Is life without sex really better than life without wins? One thing remains the same: he still doesn't have a shot in hell. [MLB]...
Miguel Cabrera Is On The Wagon
"Cabrera said today that he hasn't had a drink since the well-publicized incident in the last week of the regular season that saw him taken into custody after a domestic-abuse complaint was filed by his wife."[Freep]...
Milton Bradley Owes Back Rent
The good news for clubhouse cancer Bradley: MLB contracts, unlike NFL ones, are guanteed. The bad news: so are condo leases. Bradley's getting sued by his Chicago landlord for failing to pay up....
Man Poses As Unknown Minor Leaguer To Steal Truck
To convince a dealership to front you a vehicle, you need to pretend to be someone famous enough to be able to pay for it, but not so famous that they'd recognize his face. The perfect balance: Tyler Colvin. Who?...
Mark McGwire Is Now Here To Talk About The Past. Why?
This is not our first rodeo when it comes to steroid admissions. Let's look at Mark McGwire's statement in light of previous guilty pleas, and why he's only now fessing up long after we've all moved on....
Mark McGwire Cops To Steroid Use; America Shrugs, Returns To Its Lunch
He says: "I wish I had never touched steroids. It was foolish and it was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish I had never played during the steroid era." [AP; more revelations: The Awl, @OldHossRadbourn]...