Baseball Page 1289 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Aural Secs: David Ortiz's 30-Second Tater Trot Explained With Music
In honor of David Ortiz's Roger Bannister moment last night, an Aural Secs is in order. Unlike frequent Aural Secs subject Usain Bolt, Ortiz is quite slow, so we're going with the final chord in "A Day In The Life."...

Hideki Irabu Resurfaces With A DUI
Raise your hand if you knew Irabu was living in Los Angeles, let alone still alive. Well, he's living it up, getting busted on suspicion of drunken driving last week. [KTLA]...

Fat-Ass Baseball Players Get Their Roger Bannister Moment
Per Wezen-Ball's wonderful Tater Trot Tracker, David Ortiz rounded the bases after yesterday's solo shot in 30.59 seconds, a new record by nearly eight-tenths of a second. Yes, mankind has at last shattered the 30-second barrier. [Wezen-Ball]...

Sabermetrics Prove Mom Always Loved You Best
Psychologists believe that younger siblings take more risks than their older brothers and sisters. The proof: Among Major League Baseball-playing brother duos, the youngest one stole more bases 90% of the time. Oh, science. You're adorable. [NYTimes]...

Minor Leaguers Mercilessly Teased For Their Giant, Goofy Heads
Big helmet or tiny head? Francisco Cervelli fans (hey, he has some!) have been wondering that for a few weeks now, but in the coming years an entire corps of MLB players may look like futuristic, yet dorky space travelers....

Nolan Ryan Buys Texas Rangers (Who Still Owe A-Rod Money, By The Way)
The Texas Rangers declared bankruptcy today, which was merely a procedural matter on the road to a $575 million sale to team president/good 'ol boy Nolan Ryan and his group of investors. First step? Pay off some really lousy contracts....

Nyjer Morgan Could Swear He Heard A Whistle
Morgan makes a case for the first four-base error, deciding to spike his glove in a fit of rage — as the live ball sits on the warning track....

40-Year-Old Video Exonerates A-Rod In Dumb Mound-Crossing Controversy
This is a screengrab from the 1971 World Series. And will you look at that? A batter runs across the mound, and somehow the world doesn't launch into a spasm of cock-waggling outrage over a breach of baseball's supposedly inviolable unwritten rules....

Juan Rivera Goes 1-For-4, Falls Into Temporal Wormhole
Here's a mind-melting Juan Rivera infinite regress from Tuesday's Angels-Rangers game. [Screengrab via reader Josh; video at MLB.com]...

Basebrawl Season Is In Full Swing
Thursday's Angels-White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field featured two things you often see on the South Side these days: a White Sox loss, and a bunch of White Sox fans beating the shit out of each other. H/T BullFightsOnAcid...

Private Stache: Ken Griffey Jr. Has A Senior Moment
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Last Night's Winner: The Rest Of The NFC North
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Tarvaris Jackson's chances of starting, which look pretty bright since Brett Favre has hitched his latest comeback to the hopes of a long-shot college baseball team....

Playing The Blue Jays In Toronto? Leave Your Felons At Home
The MLB Players Association sent a warning to all their player agents that Canadian immigrations officials have recently detained non-Canadian players at the border, due to prior criminal records. Not that agents would know anyone like that, they're just sayin'....

You're Gonna Need A Bigger Mitt
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

What To Do With Hanley Ramirez?
Ramirez embarrassed his team by jogging after a ball. His manager returned the favor, benching him immediately thereafter. Ramirez spouted off to the press about it. We've got a problem here that can't be fixed by the usual news cycle....

All Of Roger Clemens' Physical Gifts Can Be Purchased In This Mystery Discount Box
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Girl Sleeps Through Her Own Interview During Rangers Game
I have no idea what's going on in this interview, but neither does the girl who is apparently part of it. Funny that the elbow to the head didn't perk her up. [Thanks to Eric R. for video]...

Wolpfack Typo Makes For Efic Pail
NC State issued their baseball media guide last week — then quickly took it down. Study it long enough, and you'll see why. Dyslexics of Raleigh...untie! [StateFansNation]...

Jarrod Saltalamacchia Has A Strange Case Of The Yips
The formerly-prized prospect can call a game. He can scoop a ball in the dirt. He can definitely hit. The only thing he can't do is throw the ball back to the pitcher....

Other Texas Fans Were Asking For Those Middle Fingers
Here's the full video of the guy who snagged that home run ball at Arlington on Wednesday and after seeing the scrum he had to fight through to get it, I'd say that "up yours" was well-earned. Filthy savages. [MLB.com]...