Baseball Page 1294 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Nick Swisher Is A 12-Year-Old Fangirl
As the Yankees cleaned out their lockers, "Nick Swisher's teammate photo collage, snipped from Yankees gameday programs and newspaper back pages, remained affixed to his locker." [MLB.com]...

Yankees Contribute To Corporate Malfeasance
The half-ton of recycled paper delivered to businesses in lower Manhattan wasn't enough, as some offices started chucking out sensitive financial documents. If the Yankees could have won last year, there would have been no need for a bailout. [WNYW]...

Say What? Our Long, National Nightmare About A Major League Pitcher's Weed Possession Charge Is Already Over?
The attorney for Tim Lincecum has negotiated a settlement with prosecutors to settle the pitcher's marijuana misdemeanor charge by having Lincecum pay a $250 fine for possession of a pipe. The possession of marijuana charge will be dropped. Come again?...

'Hooray For Mannywood, That Screwy Ballyhooey Mannywood'
Dodgers fans must feel like they have just come off a cycle and are taking hCG as it was announced that Manny Ramirez will not exercise the escape clause in his contract and will remain a Dodger. [Los Angeles Times]...

I Hope No One In Philadelphia Needed To Find Anything On The Internet Today
Bing is apparently giving up on that elusive non-New York market, transforming their front page into a tribute to the Yankees. Well, they do say that rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Microsoft. [Via The Sports Hernia]...

Tim Lincecum Cited In Least Surprising Pot Bust Ever
Raise your hand if you didn't see this one coming. Was it the shaggy hair? The vacant smile? Or the 3.3 grams of marijuana found in the reigning Cy Young Award winner's Mercedes? [The Columbian]...

The Pop-Psychologizing Of Alex Rodriguez Will Never End
A-Rod finished the postseason with a .365/.500/.808 line. Apparently, this had nothing to do with his being a wonderful ballplayer and everything to do with personal transformation, moral courage and self-actualization. Meet your 2009 playoffs MVP: Freakin' Jonathan Livingston Seagull....

Joe Girardi Helps Car Crash Victim On Way From Game 6
Driving home from Yankee Stadium last night, drunk with power (and champagne!), Girardi stopped to help an accident victim, even though each World Series winner is specifically granted the right to run over one pedestrian, no questions asked. [LoHud/Slanch]...

It Never Gets Old
So they spent more money than anyone else. So they didn't have to wait as long as anyone else. Ask us fans if it feels any less amazing. It doesn't....

Important Baseball Game Not Involving The Red Sox Still Somehow All About The Red Sox
Shocking development, via Dan Shaughnessy: The ongoing longitudinal study of narcissistic personality disorder known as Red Sox Nation has somehow contrived to turn Game 6 of a Phillies-Yankees World Series into a drama centering on ... Red Sox Nation...

Vicente Padilla Shot In Hunting "Accident"
The Dodger pitcher started his offseason with a bang, receiving a "minor" gunshot wound to his leg while hunting in Nicaragua. Is that some nightclub I'm not aware of? [LA Times]...

David Wells Thinks The People Of Philadelphia Are A Bunch Of Meanie-Weenies
Geez, I guess they'll let anyone write for the New York Post. David Wells, in a column I would describe as "portly," because, well, for no reason, shares some of his experiences interacting with the wonderful, friendly people from Philadelphia....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Yankee Stadium
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Yankee Fucking Stadium....

Cuban Baseball Defector Already Fitting In Nicely
Aroldis Chapman's agents have been showing the Cuban baseball phenom the sights and sounds of America. And he likes what he sees! Either they just posted Facebook pictures from a strip club or Boston is unseasonably warm right now. [BigLeagueStew/BustedCoverage]...

Another Rough Night For The Umpires
The World Series umpires managed to botch two double play calls in back-to-back innings last night leaving fans to once again wonder if a trained beagle couldn't do a better job refereeing playoff baseball games....

Phillies Fans Have Something To Smile About — Free Booze!
Champagne's not just for winners anymore. Maybe that's why Pedro left the game with a poop-eating grin....

DENTAL PLAN! (Girardi Needs Braces!)
Take a close look at Joe Girardi's mouth. Why would a grown man wear braces, specifically during the one month of his life when he's most likely to be on national TV? A pretty sweet reason, actually....

Tim Wakefield's Wife Is Dog Chow
A judge has sentenced a Boston-area mastiff to death after it bit Stacey Wakefield at an art gallery. Maybe it didn't like playing fetch with a knuckleballer. [Globe]...

Look Who's Tweeting
Why, it's none other than Tony La Russa, the Kant of the lineup card and a onetime litigant against Twitter. Like everyone else, he's following @Alyssa_Milano. [@TonyLaRussa, RFT]...

The Mark McGwire Rehabilitation Project Begins Now
Mark McGwire wants to be loved again. Unfortunately, everyone hates him. So how to remedy that? Simple. Hitch your wagon to Tony La Russa's star. Everyone loves that dude!...