Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Beans, Ranked

Photo of Lebanese chefs preparing 22,000 pounds of hummus via Hussein Malla/AP

As you know, this site supposedly exists for the sake of juicy sports news and gossip, but what we REALLY do instead is rank random bullshit and start flame wars with those rankings. This week, that means we’re ranking beans. And I don’t mean bean dishes. I’m talking about the actual beans themselves. That, along with actual sports content, is the subject of this week’s Deadcast. Here are the final rankings in case you are too much of an insensitive jerk to listen:

  1. Black
  2. Garbanzo
  3. White bean
  4. Fava
  5. Red
  6. Kidney
  7. Black-eyed pea
  8. Hit by a cement mixer
  9. Lima

Rage accordingly. We also preview the NBA Finals, discuss basebrawls, and answer YOUR questions about Star Wars, muscle cream, office farts, and more. Listen here!

You can also listen at iHeart Radio, Stitcher, Spotify, NPR One, Apple Podcasts, or GooglePlay. And don’t forget to email us tips and/or general complaints at Have fun out there.


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About the author

Drew Magary

Drew Magary is a Deadspin columnist and columnist for GEN magazine. You can buy Drew's second novel, The Hike, through here.