Beer That Makes You SKINNY!

During the NHL Playoffs, your fans need to bust out the big guns if they're going to appropriately cheer your team onto victory. Your normal selection of Molson and elk bile isn't gonna do it; you're gonna need to start chugging the heroin beer.

Both at the rink and online, fans swear by the particularly intoxicating effect of Saddledome draft (Molson products available at the arena are Canadian, Coors Light, Rickard's Red and Rickard's Honey Brown), debate the cause for the uber-buzz and commiserate about the resulting heroin beer hangover. On Calgarypuck.com, a self-described "unofficial Calgary Flames fan community," National Hockey League aficionados offer their own experiences and theories. "What is it that makes it heroin beer?" wrote someone with the handle Rougeunderoos. "Has anyone ever satisfactorily explained why a guy like me (heavy drinker) is ripped up like a Hulkamania t-shirt after just three or four of them? I can (and often do) perform minor surgery after four Lucky Strongs but I don't even like to negotiate stairs after four 'Dome beers."

Anybody out there from Calgary and able to vouch for this stuff? Because Albert Pujols is still slumping, and we could use the help.

Flames Fans Raising 'Heroin' To Their Heroes [Globe Sports]