Belfast Giants Hockey Player Denied Ass-tonishing Goal By Boring Refs

Hockey moves blindingly fast. At its highest levels, it becomes a breakneck ballet, demanding split-second decision-making, nimble movement, and constant improvisation from its practitioners. In a recent game in the UK’s Elite Ice Hockey League, Belfast Giants forward Patrick Dwyer (formerly of the Carolina Hurricanes) demonstrated the world class situational awareness and presence of mind befitting a seven-year NHL veteran when he slid into the goal ass-backwards after the puck fell into his pants during play. Unfortunately, the goal was not allowed to stand by philistine refs who have no appreciation for the artistry present at the pinnacle of the sport.