Bets O' the Week

Gambling and amateur athletics go together like college girls and booze, here are this weeks college football gambling tips... I'm not going to lie to you, I don't know dick. I'm about as familiar with these games as I was with the Haftorah portion at my Bar Mitzvah, and that shit was two-thirds gibberish. It's not that I don't follow college football, it's just that this week's slate of games are an LSU/Florida game away from complete irrelevance. Who's going to win the Red River Shootout? Who gives a shit?! Let's see what we've got to work with.

Wisconsin +3 (-120) at Illinois

I've been betting on Illinois and against Wisco pretty regularly this season, and with good cause. The Badgers haven't covered a spread since their first game and the Illini haven't been denied since then. But come on now, this is Illinois going up against the fifth ranked team in the nation (even if their ranking is total bullshit. The play here is for Wisconsin, but it would be pretty fucking great to see Arrelious Benn running wild all over Wisconsin.

Georgia -1 at Tennessee

Ugh, in case you'd forgotten today is separation day. What we have here is a game that's bound to separate the pretty good from the pretty crappy. Georgia wants to establish themselves as a true contender for the SEC title while Tennessee is trying to win out to secure Phil Fulmer's reserved seat in the Citrus Bowl. The most likely scenario is this, Georgia beats Tennessee by less than a touchdown and Fulmer goes away forever. Huzzah!

Penn State -9.5 vs. Iowa

Not only is the Big 10 a terrible conference, but they're boring too! Iowa got spanked by Indiana (really?) last week and their season is already over. What do you think interests Kirk Ferentz more, guiding his sub-.500 team to bowl eligibility or mailing it in until the NFL executives start banging down his door again (really?). Even if you call Happy Valley home, you'll probably need a round of shots to make this tolerable.

Enjoy!

Photo via Big Ten Poon