Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Blogdom's Best: Dallas Cowboys

This image was lost some time after publication.
This image was lost some time after publication.

It's a melancholic yet festive time here at Deadspin Studios as we say goodbye to one of our regular features, the NFL Edition of Blogdom's Best. To celebrate our 32nd and final entry — the Dallas Cowboys — we've decided to throw a wrap party and invite Cowboys past, present and recently deceased to celebrate the old, and ring in the new (we're not quite sure what Blogdom we'll be exploring next, by the way. We'll mull it over tonight while watching "Used Cars" on HBO). We're going to miss you, NFL blogs.


Our party began innocently enough, with Jerry Jones, Jimmy Johnson and several others from the 1990s Super Bowl years huddled at a back table, talking over old times. But Jimmy and Jerry soon began arguing (it was inevitable), and a shoving match ensued. Someone bumped into Tony Dorsett, who stumbled into the buffet table, spilling punch all over Tom Landry's cleanly pressed suit. Hollywood Henderson had a buxom girl on each arm and was smoking a hundred dollar bill, acting like he'd won the lottery or something, when he saw what happened to Landry and burst out laughing. This infuriated Troy Aikman, who took time out from the group of people he was trying to convince he wasn't gay and threw a sourdough dip bowl at Henderson, hitting him in the head.

The bowl ricocheted to Jackie Smith, who of course dropped it, and bounced over to Terrell Owens, who picked it up and proceeded to the middle of the room where he posed in defiance, only to be tackled by Emmitt Smith. By now Bill Parcells had cleaned out most of the buffet, and guests were beginning to wander outside to watch as the cops were for some reason arresting Lance Rentzel. Barry Switzer began talking to the cops but ended up babbling something about multiple girlfriends, then taking a wild swing at one of the cops, missing and ending up face down in the koi pond. He too was placed in cuffs. We thought it was a hoot the way Michael Irvin patted down each guest as he arrived, but he went too far when he tried to search Larry Allen, who took umbrance and picked Irvin up by his tie. More bedlam as Bullet Bob Hayes returned, panting, from a beer run, as Roger Staubach helped gather the remaining guests around the piano, which was being played by Mel Renfro. Don Meredith began singing softly as someone turned out the lights, and we all realized the party was, indeed, over.

3. Bloggin' The Boys. Any blog that has a link to the dashboard cam police video of Michael Irvin's arrest is OK by us.
2. The Cowboy Roundup. There's not a lot one can count on in this world. So it's refreshing to find a place that reminds us that the Cowboys and Redskins do, in fact, still hate each other.
1. Cowboys Blog. Big, bold and in your face — Rafael Vela and Raul Villaronga (wasn't one of them the Cowboys' placekicker at one time?) have created a great place to set a spell and chew the fat.

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