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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All

Illustration for article titled Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All

Attorneys for Barry Bonds on Wednesday made a defense filing that their client's gigantic skull and tiny nuts should not be entered into evidence at his perjury trial.

The object of attention on Wednesday was one of the government's expert witnesses on steroids, Larry Bowers, who is the senior managing director of the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency and an accomplished chemist.

The defense derided the science and studies that Bowers and the government cited that allege steroid and human growth hormone use by Bonds would have been witnessed by a former girlfriend, teammates and others in the form of physical symptoms: shrunken testicles, male pattern baldness, and a giant skull and fingers.

As to allegations about Bonds' testicles, the defense claimed a failure of proof. Alleging that Bonds' former mistress Kimberly Bell had pressed a legal claim against the slugger and shopped a book about their relationship, Ruby noted that no medical evidence had been introduced to support her claim to "have noticed that Mr. Bonds' testicles became smaller."

Visual inspection apparently won't do. Ruby noted that a "layperson" would have difficulty detecting diminished testicles "even by touch."


But just how do we know for sure until we try? "Mrs. Goldberg ... are these the balls you saw loitering outside of the victim's apartment on the night in question?"

If mere defense motions a full month before the actual trial begins are going to be this humorous, please sign me up for a season pass to the real thing.

Defense Objects To Bonds' Testicles Evidence [Yahoo Sports]

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