There may never have been a better time in the modern history of the NFL to be a competing network. NFL ratings appear to be down, although no one is exactly clear on why, or for how long it might last. But a segment of sports fans you might otherwise consider among the NFL’s base—dumbasses, basically—are making more and more noise about turning off the NFL because of ongoing player protests during the national anthem. Donald Trump’s histrionics this week have put everyone on both sides into an interesting position: players and those supportive of their cause have more reason than ever to engage in public demonstrations; and Trump supporters and general dumbasses now are called to rally around their leader, who has openly called for a boycott. Some segment of Americans will tune in for the violence and brutality, the exploitation of labor, the pandering, the cynical jingoism; but when Donald Trump tells them to turn it off, they will hop right in line, and find themselves watching TBS on a fall Sunday, like the rest of us. Strange, strange bedfellows.
On that note, TBS has a pretty solid Sunday lineup! The non-baseball sports options today aren’t great, but there are one or two meaningful baseball games, there’s the WNBA Finals, the final round of what’s been a very entertaining PGA tournament, and the usual slate of serial marathons and edited-for-TV movies. Dig in:
Noon — beIN Sports Connect — Serie A Soccer: Sassoula vs. Bologna
These teams will be fighting to stay out of the relegation zone all season.
Noon — FOX Sports 2 — Bundesliga Soccer: Bayer Leverkusen vs. Hamburg
Woof. Not a lot of high-quality European soccer on today.
12:30 p.m. — beIN Sports Español — La Liga Soccer: Eibar vs. Celta Vigo
This is a dog. Break in case of emergency. It’s worth pointing out, here, that both of the La Liga matches listed here are also available on Sling World Sports, for you cable-cutters out there.
1:30 p.m. — NBC — PGA Tour Golf: Final Round, 2017 TOUR Championship
Paul Casey opens today with a two-shot lead over Kevin Kinsler and Xander Schauffele.
2 p.m. — TBS — Baseball: Cubs @ Brewers
This is the series to watch if you’re looking for baseball with real stakes. The Brewers pulled off an incredible and incredibly unlikely win last night, and they still have a fighting chance of grabbing the final NL Wild Card.
2:45 p.m. — beIN Sports Español — La Liga Soccer: Real Sociedad vs. Valencia
The winner of this match will push into the top four of the La Liga table.
2:45 p.m. — beIN Sports — Serie A Soccer: Fiorentina vs. Atalanta
This Serie A match is also available on Sling World Sports. Of course, if you have sling, and you also have beIN Sports, you probably already know that you can watch any of beIN Sports’s programming on demand, at any time.
3:30 p.m. — ABC — WNBA Finals Game 1: Los Angeles Sparks vs. Minnesota Lynx
Both teams swept their way into the Finals.
8 p.m. — FOX Sports 1 — MLS Soccer: Portland Timbers vs. Orlando City SC
FOX also has MLS soccer as blackout counterprogramming during afternoon football today.
8 p.m. — ESPN — Baseball: Angels @ Astros
The Angels are technically still alive for the AL Wild Card, but ESPN gives them just a 2.4 percent chance at sneaking in. Needless to say, they need a lot of shit to go their way, including a win in each of their remaining games.
1 p.m. — USA — Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
When the world has been nuked to hell and the remnants of humanity are living underground, and all life on the surface is irradiated to shit, there will still be this Sunday marathon, churning along like nothing happened at all.
1 p.m. — BBC America — Star Trek: The Next Generation
BBC America will sometimes scrap their usual Sunday mostly-Bond-movies programming and go with these day-long Next Generation marathons.
1 p.m. — Logo — Roseanne
The usual early-afternoon marathon.
1 p.m. — TV Land — The Golden Girls
TV Land shifts from this regular Sunday mini-marathon to a marathon of Reba.
1 p.m. — UP — America’s Funniest Home Videos
An all-day marathon. Looks like all the episodes are from Season 20 or later, so it’ll be Alfonso Ribeiro hosting.
3 p.m. — FXX — The Simpsons
I am sorry to say there is not one single good episode in today’s extended FXX Simpsons marathon. Bummer.
6 p.m. — Spike — Friends
A quick four-episode mini-marathon to cover part of the late afternoon games.
7 p.m. — ABC — America’s Funniest Home Videos
A Sunday evening standby.
1 p.m. — TNT — The Bourne Ultimatum
The most dour and least joyful of the three original Jason Bourne movies. Still worlds better than Jason Bourne.
1:30 p.m. — Ovation — True Grit
This is the Coen brothers remake, not the superior original.
1:50 p.m. — FreeForm — Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
FreeForm is doing a multi-day Harry Potter marathon. Stick around after this for both halves of Deathly Hallows.
2 p.m. — BET — Boyz N the Hood
Another movie that will root you in place if you accidentally happen upon it while surfing channels.
2:45 p.m. — IFC — The Departed
It’ll be loaded down with commercials, but at least they won’t edit it for content. Also, IFC has Goodfellas on before this.
3 p.m. — FXM — Prometheus
I liked Alien: Covenant a lot, but I definitely did not think it was less laden with spirituality and existential shit. I thought that was what made it good!
3:30 p.m. — Syfy — Mission to Mars
This spectacularly bad movie falls squarely into the so-bad-it’s-good category.
3:30 p.m. — Comedy Central — Super Troopers
Comedy Central’s Sunday lineup is otherwise pretty bad, with We’re The Millers and the third Hangover movie.
4 p.m. — Ovation — Copycat
A serial killer movie that just has no idea whatsoever what serial killers are. Still, a pretty excellent Sigourney Weaver performance. In fact, the whole cast is pretty good.
5:30 p.m. — FX — Spy
A really, really goddamn funny movie.
5:30 p.m. — AMC — Twister
Right after an early afternoon airing of Armageddon, if your brain can handle like six consecutive hours of powerfully stupid action movie.
6 p.m. — TBS — Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
TBS is also showing this in the morning, with baseball in between.
8 p.m. — MLB Network — Field of Dreams
There just isn’t all that much meaningful baseball left in this regular season. Might as well go with movies.
Or you could go see It. Pennywise is scary as shit!