C.C. Sabathia of the dastardly New York Yankees pegged dear Dinger Lord Bryce Harper in the funny bone in the top of the fifth inning Tuesday, with two men on and the Yankees clinging to a 2-0 lead. Scum! Murder most foul!
Sabathia, unbelievably, was not exiled to a work camp in Antarctica for his carelessness, nor was he even ejected. Importantly, in a demonstration of pure heroism, young Bryce shook off the pain and injustice and stayed in the game, much to the disappointment and humiliation of the various evil Yankees conspirators. In their desperation, the Yankees resorted to the unthinkable: they plunked our hero a second time, in his very next plate appearance, with Bryce leading off the eighth inning of what was then a 3-0 Yankees lead:
This second pegging, off the top of Harper’s back foot, was more than Bryce could stand, and, after attempting to make his way to first, he was forced to leave the game. Pretty shabby treatment from a team and fanbase that is expected to be at the front of the line to sign Harper to his next contract! In the meantime, it sounds like Harper is mostly okay?
It’s been a rough day for Harper. He got “lightly booed” at Yankee Stadium this afternoon, then he got plunked in consecutive plate appearances and had to leave the game, and all this on the same day that Mike Rizzo had to leap to his defense after an anonymous NL executive told FanRag Sports he considers Harper a “selfish, losing player”:
Text one: “He’s simply overrated. The good ain’t worth the bad. He’s a losing player. Cares about himself more than the team. If I was in charge and had money, my team would not pursue him. We would use that money to sign 2-3 winning players.”
Text two: “He’s a losing player. I would not sign him. I would use that money to sign 2-3 winning players.”
Text three: “If he gets more than 10-years, $300 million, I’d be surprised. I would not give him 10 years period and certainly not at that AAV. He’s just not worth it. He’s a selfish, losing player.”
Rizzo, in an angry response given to Jorge Castillo of the Washington Post, passionately enumerated Harper’s many virtues—accolades, charitable works, a track record of, you know, winning baseball games—before going in on this anonymous executive’s character:
“[Harper]’s as far from a loser as you can possibly get. He’s a champion. He’s a winner. Always has been. Always will be. And these anonymous quotes from these unnamed sources like a National League executive, it’s cowardly, it’s chicken shit, and it’s gutless.”
This stinks. Harper’s injury is hopefully nothing, but the timing is wild—Adam Eaton only recently returned to action after eons spent on the disabled list, but his return was canceled out by an injury to Stephen Strasburg. Daniel Murphy just got back from his own extended stay on the DL, and now Harper turns into a battered ball magnet. Leave him alone, disgusting Yankees dirtbags! Harper deserves a damn bubble bath.