Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Can One Costumed Beer Keg Mascot Make A Difference? Yes, He Can

This image was lost some time after publication.

Yes, because we're your trusted source for mascot news, we bring you Eight Mascots That Need To Die, from Armchair GM (via Bob Reno's BadJocks). Among the unfortunate winners are obvious choices, such as Screech the Hyperactive Fowl from the Washington Nationals, and the sad, besotted Stanford Tree. But we had never even heard of Keggy the Keg from Dartmouth (pictured), and who could spend two minutes in a room with Nebraska's Lil' Red and a nail gun and not end up puncturing it in horrible ways? Totally impossible.

Actually, students at Dartmouth are a little pissed that Keggy was named to the list, as they see him as a sign of protest against "The man." Take a look at the posts in the site's comments section, one of which is partially excerpted here:

What's important about Keggy is not so much that he's a giant beer or that he filled the void of a humanoid mascot at football games, it's that he represented a giant "$%#! you!" to the Dartmouth administration. Kegs are banned at Dartmouth unless you register them way in advance. The administration that took our kegs and tried to cut the entire swim team over Thanksgiving break tried to throw us a bone by letting us choose the next mascot, and Keggy turned the whole shabang into a giant shitburger. Keggy kicks ass, even if he comes off a little dorky as an official Ivy League mascot.


Also, no mascot list could be complete without this:

St. Louis College of Pharmacy's mascot is a Eutectic. Just so you know, this is not actually a creature, simply a chemical process.

Sad, really.

Eight Mascots That Need To Die [Armchair GM]


Share This Story