Candies To Stress Eat While You Watch The World Series Game Tonight, Ranked

This World Series is depressing as hell, just like many other things that are happening right now and which we have no control over. Neither the Houston Astros nor the Washington Nationals (my team) have managed to win a home game. At Game 3, people were literally crying as we left the stadium, which was mainly because of beer consumption but also because being disappointed alongside people you really love over something you really care about is disappointing and terrifying and very, very sad. Last night, a beloved leader was even thrown out of the game for fighting hard for what he believed in.

On top of that, all the calls have been bogus. Trea Turner was in the baseline. The strike zone is now some kind of ephemeral transforming monster depending on the pitcher. The people in charge of the game keep interfering in ways that disrupt the players’ (who are very good at their jobs) ability to do the thing they are paid to do, and thus not only cheapening the wins, but muddying the losses. Things do not look like they will get better. Tonight, someone will lose.

With that in mind, here are the best candies to stress eat, ranked:

1. Getting hit by a bus

2. Gummy Bears/Worms

3. Starburst

4. Big League Chew

5. Candy Corn

6. Jolly Ranchers

7. Airheads

8. M&Ms

9. Skittles

10. Fun Dip

11. Lifesavers

12. Baby Ruth

13. Kit Kats

14. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

15. Milk Duds

16. PopRocks

17. Jawbreakers

18. Atomic fireball

19. Cadbury Egg

20.Tootsie Pop

21. Warheads