Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled Chris Simms Recalls The Time Vince Wilfork Busted Up His Genitals Real Good
Photo: Doug Pensinger (Getty)

Former NFL quarterback Chris Simms, who famously got his spleen exploded during a game, went on Mike Florio’s radio show today and shared the story of a different time in which he was grievously and spectacular injured by a big hit.

Advertisement

Simms spoke about the time former Patriots defensive tackle Vince Wilfork hit him in his pelvic bone, which Simms says led to this unfortunate scenario: “My genitals were purple yellow for like two weeks.” He went on to say that it was “like the L.A. Lakers down there.”

Advertisement

This got us thinking: What’s the least desirable NBA color scheme for the region containing your dick and balls to resemble? The San Antonio Spurs wouldn’t be great, as such a color would likely indicate death. The Chicago Bulls evoke an image of an open and festering wound, so that’s not ideal, either. The Boston Celtics are probably bringing a disease requiring some form of amputation, so you really don’t want that one.

Okay, good talk.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter