Photo: Alex Wroblewski (Getty Images)

It’s not that there aren’t sports happening. Sports are happening, for sure. The latest chapter in the epic Panama/Tunisia rivalry will be written later today in the World Cup, MLB’s regular season is wheezing grandly into the early part of its Boring And Insignificant portion, and NBA weirdos are getting ready to do that thing where we do deep textual readings of LeBron James Instagram posts to determine where he’s going to sign next. It’s, uh, all obviously super great and definitely sports. And yet we made the executive decision, this week, not to talk about sports pretty much at all.

Given that Drew is literally on vacation—he called in from a beach house in the scenic and universally reviled state of Delaware—and I could really sincerely use a vacation, we gave ourselves a bit of break from sports and talked about other things. Some of these things are important, like the idiotic and mostly appalling fetish for rhetorical civility among the gatekeepers of our political discourse during a moment when vandals are looting everything the country ever purported to hold dear. We spent a decent amount of time on that. Other things are important in different ways, such as Beach Dad Best Practices and the tantalizing and unwise possibility of tackling a Chris Cornell vocal performance in a karaoke setting. We spent a decent amount of time on all that, too.

The rest is the rest: me making small dog sounds, Drew singing slightly more than usual, everyone in the office yelling when South Korea scored its second goal against Germany, and a rowdy Funbag that considers the furthest shores of shitty work experiences, whether the Indiana Jones movies are technically history, and the most well-traveled professional athletes of all time, which naturally flows into an extended consideration of Ryan Fitzpatrick’s illustrious career and Ivy-grade email etiquette. We will get back to sports eventually, and probably sooner than later. For now, thank you for joining us on this brief vacation of the mind.

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