Clinton Portis' Methodical Meltdown

That guy right there is Redskins running back Clinton Portis, who is slowly limping toward madness, right before everyone's eyes. This week, before last night's win over the Eagles, Portis announced that his previous character, Southeast Jerome, had died and now he was Dr. I Don't Know. Who is Dr. I Don't Know. Well, Portis doesn't know. But he can explain the strange getup.
The glasses: "They're actually from surgery. I did the autopsy on Southeast Jerome. These glasses were white, but mixing them with blood, it just so happened they turned pink." The hair: "A lot of time in the laser room. In radiology, we're doing a lot of things, and it just so happens it grew out this color."
OK, why are we paying more attention to Terrell Owens than this guy?


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